My Own Personal Crazy

In my dreams, I know Justin and Britney

2011-12-03T13:27:00.000-08:00

I can only blame the media and the posts I saw on tumblr yesterday for the brief dream I remember from last night.

I was roaming about a hotel in what I can only assume was Florida. There was a lot of water around and well, I just know it was Florida. The hotel was located in such a way that you could see the ocean, or some body of water, from both sides of it, and it was in a triangle shape.

I found myself sitting at a table in a large restaurant that was completely empty. It was clearly a fancy restaurant based on the linens and table settings and a few minutes after I sat down Justin Timberlake joined me. Yes, you read that right. JT himself. But it was a younger version of JT, not the current version. He was very excited because he was about to propose to Britney. Yes, that Britney. She appeared and as he stood to greet her the ring box fell to the ground. I bent down to pick it up and seriously, it said Dude! on the top of it. I handed it back to him and he opened it and presented it to Britney and of course she squealed and said yes and when I caught a glimpse of what was inside there was a ring and four or five small diamonds that Justin said were for him.

It seemed that we were all very good friends in the dream because we rejoiced together and were actually sharing a hotel suite. I left them to celebrate and went wandering around the hotel. Outside it was storming but I opened a sliding glass door and went outside anyway then came back in and called my mom to tell her what had happened.

That's all I remember but I think that's more than enough to qualify for this blog.

In my dreams, I help Taylor Swift launch her new perfume

2011-11-13T09:35:00.000-08:00

There is no possible explanation for this dream other than this: I'm completely cracked.

The dream started with me getting a packet of information about a trip I was taking. The trip? To join Taylor Swift in LA when she launched her new perfume. Uh huh. You read that right. The perfume was called Rapture and there was a photo of Taylor wearing a black evening gown on the itinerary. It seemed completely normal that I was going to this, and I read through the details and prepared to go. It also appeared that the reason I was going had something to do with ASU.

It was totally random because the flight left at like 10 at night and then there were activities in the middle of the night in LA and the launch was the next day. I wasn't quite clear why it was being done that way but didn't bother asking anyone about it.

At some point while I was perusing the itinerary Nathan Angelo (that's him on the right) walked out of his apartment, which was, apparently, directly across from where I was reading this information. He smiled his Nathan smile, laughed, then went on his merry way.

The dream shifted to an airplane, which was clearly Southwest based on the colors and the flight attendants but it was anything BUT a Southwest plane. It was more like an old school DC10 with tons of room between the aisles and seats on both sides and in the middle. My mom was with me and for some random reason we weren't sitting together.

I looked back to her seat and she was less than pleased. The guy behind her, a grown up, was pushing on her seat and kicking it and being a complete jerk. I told her to move and tried to find a flight attendant. Then for some reason I moved and my mom did move but still not by me. I was sitting by the window and no one sat next to me. And then, I guess, we flew.

At some point someone was asking why I was involved in the whole event and my mom said it was a rifle team reunion, which made absolutely no sense (I was not involved with the rifle team at ASU, that was WVU). I shook my head and said, "No. It's because I'm awesome." To be fair, that actually does sound like something I'd say.

I got to LA and my mom was no longer with me but I met my friend Tasha, also involved in the event, at the airport. She was wearing a black and white evening gown and I was wearing a red one. Someone whispered that her ride would be there soon and she told them she would rather wait for her husband to pick us up. The person that talked to her seemed annoyed but went away.

Moments later we were on a bus but it was just like the plane. Tasha told me I should print my itinerary, and I was confused since I had a copy of it, but it was on red paper and I got up and walked to the printers on the other side of the bus. I put the paper down to print it and saw someone take their credit card out of it then walked back to my seat, still by the window in the exact same place it was on the plane, and there were two people sitting there taking pictures out of the window.

I asked them what they were doing there and they said those were their seats. I told them they were sitting in my seat and they got really snotty about it. When I asked if they would just give me my bag still sitting under the seat they refused and I had to call a flight attendant - yes, they were on the bus too. She was less than helpful so I reached under and grabbed the bag and then I woke up.

In my dreams, Kate Voegele and I drive through a snowstorm

2011-10-25T05:53:00.000-07:00

So I went to see Kate Voegele and Parachute in concert last night and naturally, had a dream involving Kate. I had one about Parachute a few nights ago so I suppose it's only fair for me to involve Kate in my crazy too.

The dream started with Kate and me driving down a highway, which looked suspiciously like Highway 1 between Pacifica and San Francisco. The weather was nice and we were chatting away like old friends, which I'm sure we would be if we'd ever actually met. We're in a fairly small car, and it's packed full of stuff.

Without warning the road and our surroundings become pitch black, like so black you can't even see our headlights. She's driving at this point (I was driving in the beginning) and seems to have complete control over the car. I'm freaking out a bit because of the darkness but feel like she knows what she's doing so attempt to relax. That's when the car starts sliding on the ice and suddenly we're in a snowstorm, but shortly thereafter we arrive in a small town and pull over by a park.

We get out of the car, and it's sort of cold but no longer snowing, so we wander in and there are several large picnic areas, all covered and all but one empty. The other one is crammed full of people and we find someone outside to ask about the address we're looking for. He tells us we're there, and Kate starts talking to him about where she's supposed to be playing.

He says he'd like to hear something with a drum, and she says she's got a kettle drum. This seems to disappoint him but he moves on. It doesn't appear like he was expecting us but he's glad there's going to be some entertainment. She asks about electricity for my piano but it doesn't look like that's an option but the guy says I should be able to improvise and neither of us know what he means.

We wandered back to the car, confused but ready to play and then another guy shows up (in a black pea coat I might point out ... apparently I have a thing for men in pea coats) and it seems like he's the backup singer. I'm not clear why he wasn't with us but it makes sense for him to be there so we all start to unload the car.

The dream then shifts and the three of us are walking down a hall and an older lady behind us comments about me wearing flip flops and shorts and I turn around and smile then laugh and tell her I'm crazy.

And that was it...woke up a few seconds later shaking my head...thankful I have these kinds of dreams as opposed to nightmares...crazy as they are, they are definitely entertaining...at least to me...

In my dreams, I have lunch with Will from Parachute and also meet Joe Thornton

2011-10-22T07:10:00.000-07:00

I see I haven't posted something crazy in nearly two months...apparently life has been too busy to be crazy. But as I woke up on the morning of day one of my vacation, I remembered my dream and it was, a little bit crazy...

I'm not sure where I was in this dream, but there was a library and a huge restaurant across from what appeared to be a hotel, possibly where I was staying. I was with a friend but I've never actually seen this person in my life so no idea who she was. We saw the lead singer of the band Parachute (that's him on the left when I saw them play at the Mountain Winery this summer) in our hotel and were very excited about it. Somehow, I met him and we made a plan to have lunch. Sure. Because that happens ALL the time.

I went to the restaurant to meet him but didn't see him when I came in so sat down and waited. While I was waiting I fell asleep and didn't realized he was sitting in another part of the restaurant the whole time. When I woke up, feeling stupid and embarrassed I walked by the whole band at a table and made eye contact and tried to convey that I felt bad. He just looked at me and I walked back to the hotel knowing that I'd missed my chance. I saw him at some point and apologized all over the place and he seemed cool with it.

In the next scene I was actually having lunch with him, only it wasn't actually him. It was some random gorgeous guy I've never seen in real life (but certainly wouldn't mind seeing!). He was tall, with perfect hair and a perfect smile and wearing a black pea coat. I apologized again and again, explained what happened, and he was totally fine with it.

The scene morphed again and I was having lunch with my friend, but leaning against a rail on the second floor of the restaurant, which, by the way, was HUGE. He was smiling and leaning over me a bit, and I was giggling and flirting and we were definitely getting along.

A few minutes later my friend and I were leaving the restaurant and walked by him and some of his band mates and he jumped up and joined us, waving goodbye to his friends. And things were going great until I saw Joe Thornton (picture courtesy of The Mercury News), and also my friend Jill. I turned to Will and my other friend and told them I'd just be a minute then ran over and said hi to Jill who was equally as excited to see Joe in this random restaurant. He was signing things for people and weirdly, we both had ticket stubs from what appeared to be a home game, though also appeared to be from his 1000th game (which actually took place last night in New Jersey, not in San Jose...details...). He was wearing shorts and his jersey with a black coat and was more than happy to sign my ticket. I fumbled with my phone and got it into camera mode then handed it to Jill to take a photo of us. Joe was very gracious and bent down (he's in the vicinity of 2 feet taller than me!) and smiled and put his arm around my shoulder for the photo. I thanked him then walked away with Jill who was trying to get her phone into camera mode, then I was like, "Hey, don't you want your picture with him too?" And we headed back and I took her picture with him, then thanked him again and told him to have a good afternoon. He was like, "Hey thanks. You too!" I expect this is exactly how it would be if I ever ran into him in a real restaurant.

Jill and I walked away, and then I picked up a box that I'd apparently had the whole time and struggled with closing the lid. I looked around to find Will and my other friend but didn't see them so headed for the door, and while we were standing there waiting to go through Will, who had morphed into someone else completely, gave me a sneer and then said, in a very snarky tone, "Guess you weren't that sorry."

I stood there dumbfounded and then, naturally, woke up...

Trust me...if this had happened in real life I would have been extremely sorry! On a side note, I'm seeing Parachute in concert on Monday night...wonder if Will will remember me... :-)

In my dreams, there are hockey players, musicians and actors...

2011-08-29T14:35:00.000-07:00

I can only blame this craziness on the Benadryl I took to combat the impending itch from sunburn. I mean, what is going on in my brain? As happens many times when I dream there are multiple snippets that flow together but make absolutely no sense on the waking side of it. Here we go...

In the first part of my dream I was friends with numerous San Jose Sharks hockey players and their wives; in fact, I think I was babysitting some of their babies. Trust me...even if I knew these people the likelihood of me taking care of their children is almost nil. Anyway...I was definitely in good with Joe Thornton and his wife and their baby, even holding the baby when Joe was passing out bouquets of roses to his wife and other Sharks wives. That's right. Roses. Sure. Why not?

At some point in this dream the scene shifted to a large bathroom where George Costanza was headed to take a shower, but the shower was really dirty; like someone had taken a mud bath in it. And he was all embarrassed standing in the bathroom in shorts and a creepy white tank top. Thankfully, that part of the dream ended quickly. He was my least favorite part of Seinfeld.

Next I encountered Richard Castle (hello Nathan Fillion) and Becket (from the show Castle, in case you were confused). Yes, they were in character as were the other Castle actors and I was involved in whatever case they were investigating, but somewhere in the middle of the scene Becket told Castle she was pregnant, and it wasn't clear if it was his baby or someone else's, and I never got my answer because I woke up. Really? What am I supposed to do with that information now?

I fell back asleep and my dreams shifted from hockey players and actors to musicians. I remember talking to someone about a Green Day concert at Shoreline (a show I actually did see in real life last year) but it seemed that in the dream I had tickets but didn't actually go, and it was like I forgot to go. Yeah. Like THAT would ever happen in real life!

From there I was transported to a Hootie & The Blowfish concert and my sole mission in seeing them was to get a picture with Mark Bryan who I actually have met in real life. I had this big plan to walk up to him and say, "Hey, remember me? We met at Robert Hicks' guitar pull outside of Franklin a few years ago." And then of course he would be like, "Of course!", because why wouldn't he remember me? (that's him on the right in the photo below)

But I never got to see him and then the band shifted to Third Day and I was talking to Mark Lee who plays guitar for them. What's with these guys named Mark who have last names that could easily be first names? Interesting. I wandered away while they were playing then came back and leaned back in a chair and closed my eyes and harmonized with the awesomeness of Mac Powell's voice.

And then I woke up for good. Yep. That's it. My own personal crazy dreams strike again.

Until I dream again...

In my dreams, I plot evil's overthrow with the cast of Sports Night...

2011-07-27T03:06:00.000-07:00

So it's 2:43 in the morning and I just woke up from another dream straight out of crazy land. I don't remember a lot, but here's the gist of it. I was embroiled (gotta admit, I love that I just typed the word embroiled at this hour)...yes, embroiled in some sort of good vs. evil game where the evil was some sort of cult and the good was me and the cast of Sports Night. Yeah. Sports Night.

We were in groups of three and in different colored t-shirts. I was in red. Casey (played by the ever-so-awesome Peter Krause) was in blue and was on the evil team but had apparently realized it wasn't a good idea and we had some sort of secret signals going on between us that ensured I would win the battles against him, thus pushing us forward to winning the overall war. And it appeared that if the good side won we'd all be released. Dana was also there (the please-could-she-be-any-better Felicity Huffman) and she was in orange, which was the known good side. Jeremy (the wow-where-did-this-guy-come-from-greatness known as Joshua Malina) was there, but didn't appear to be on either team, but was somehow helping the good side in his perfectly quirky Jeremy way. His girlfriend Natalie (the wonder-what-she's-doing-now Sabrina Lloyd) was on the good team, and I think she was wearing red like me. She was her typical neurotic self. Those are the only characters I remember seeing, and I couldn't tell you who the other evil players were. They didn't seem significant.

I remember a vague journey through a lunchroom of sorts that looked more like the eating area from a ski lodge, and I remember us making serious eye contact as we lay on the floor of another room, somehow plotting our overthrow. I don't even know what the game was that we were playing, but it was three on three, and when I beat Casey, we shook hands and it was clear that he and I were leading this effort. We held hands for a few seconds too long and exchanged some sort of little rocks. I just remember he smiled a little and so did I and that's how we knew. When the good had won more than the evil in this little room we were released and were all breathing very slowly and deeply as we walked outside and Casey just kept saying, "Three more wins. Three more wins." Because apparently if we won three more times we'd win the whole thing and the good would be released from the evil.

I'm just assuming we won since I woke up at that point and am now sitting here typing this. But really? I haven't watched Sports Night in ages, but it is without a doubt one of my all-time favorite shows. And you can never go wrong with Peter Krause gracing the screens of anything, especially your own mind, right?

Anyway, that's it. Yet another installment of, my own personal crazy.

In my dreams, I get nothing signed by Matt Nathanson...

2011-07-16T05:55:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since Matt Nathanson graced the corners of my dreams, but I just woke up from a short snippet that was entertaining enough to share.

I was at some sort of event...no idea what...and remember standing in line to get my parking validated. When I got to the front I turned my parking ticket over and stuck a validation sticker on the back then handed it to the checkout lady. She looks it over and tells me it's going to be $2.50. I hand her a five-dollar bill and she hands me back $11.50. I'm like, "you gave me too much," and hand her back one of the five-dollar bills thinking at first that she'd given me a five and two ones. She giggles and thanks me, then I realize the other bill is a five and hand it back and ask her for a one. She's clearly confused and takes the five then hands me a ten, and this goes on for another few seconds until I get the right change. Crazy.

The dream then shifts and I'm standing in line waiting for Matt to sign something, but it's not like I was at a concert; it's more like he's at a street fair and people are getting things signed. Very strange. So there are two people in front of me - and really they were more to the side of me - and I'm totally eavesdropping on their conversations with Matt. He's sitting at a desk like you'd see in grade school, where it's connected to the chair, and he's got a large poster board in front of him that he's writing on. And it's almost like he's drawing a caricature and not really signing things at all. The woman he's talking to at first is leaning in and he draws a cartoon bubble like he's going to write dialogue in it. And he's saying something about President Bush and they laugh, but he doesn't actually write anything and then she leaves. Then a man starts talking to him, and he's just prattling on and on about nothing and it's very clear that Matt wants to leave and be free of him, but he's listening and trying to be nice and then I start to doodle on a corner of the paper and draw my own cartoon bubbles that look more like fuzzy circles, and this guy can't finish his thoughts and Matt is going crazy. Eventually, Matt says he has to go and that he'll be back the next day, and then he just packs it up and leaves.

What?

In my dreams, I hang with Craig T. Nelson, Lady Gaga and Justin Timberlake

2011-05-29T06:27:00.000-07:00

So I just woke up from a dream where I was fly fishing with Craig T. Nelson. Yes. That's right. The dream wasn't terribly long, but basically, I was standing on the edge of very wide river, and I cast my line. And it appeared that I was almost doing it out of spite because CTN was going to go regular fishing, but then he pulled out a fly rod and joined me. On my second cast though, my line got caught in a tree and I had to cut it down, and it lost the fly so I had to think about how to get a new one on there. During the time I was cutting it down, CTN sent some kid to his trailer to get a new fly. No idea who the kid was, but then I went to the trailer and let myself in and started looking around for his tackle box so I could fix my line. He joined me a minute later and we opened a large tackle box that actually had live bait in it and we each took a small paper cup and plunged it into this box to get some new bait. Not sure why we needed bait since we were fly fishing, but then again, I'm not sure why I was doing any sort of fishing in my dream. After I had my cup full of bait, tiny little minnows, I woke up. If I had been watching A River Runs Through It before I went to bed, or maybe even Parenthood, I might understand why I dreamed this, but I have no freaking idea. However, it's not quite as bizarre as the dream I had just before it.

In the prior dream, I was in a huge department store. And I mean HUGE! Like 20 or 30 floors. It was insane. And I'm not exactly clear why I was there, but it was became apparent at some point that I was there to do something for Lady Gaga. Like I was filling in for someone. And so as I was sitting somewhere in the store one of her people said I should come down, and I told them I'd be there when I was finished, and I seemed bothered by it. And so I was sitting on a bench talking to some other people and one of those people just happened to be Justin Timberlake. And we were talking about some other musician and I was irritated that the other musician was becoming an actor and said to Justin something like, "Yeah. Wouldn't it be nice if these musicians who start acting actually made music again." And he thinks it's funny and we all laugh, and then Gaga joins us, and she's dressed like a regular person, not like her normal Gaga self, and we're all talking for a while and then I leave to go with her to do whatever it is I'm supposed to do. And that's all there was to that. But I at least get how Gaga and JT were in my brain after last week's SNL. Not sure about the department store part, but whatever.

And I didn't even take any medicine to get me into this crazy dream state today! Nope. I'm just CRAZY!!

In my dreams, there are lycans, phones, windows, doors and gloves...

2011-05-27T00:50:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so it's a little after a midnight and I'm awake after some bizarre little dream snippets. I blame this completely on the Claritin, Advil and Pseudophed that I took to try to get rid of the headache that I still have. In addition, I blame part of it on falling asleep watching Bones.

Snippet #1:

I was in Bones, or working with the Bones team, or whatever. And there was a woman that looked like a mannequin Hodgens had seen, and we all thought he was crazy, but then somehow we knew he wasn't and we knew that this wasn't a woman but a woman who turned into some sort of creature like a lycan/werewolf. Yeah. I know. But it was a dream, what do you want? Anyway...at some point, this woman turns into this creature, and it's scary but fascinating, and there some sort of time limit involved where after she's gone we all have hair everywhere and have to get it off before something bad will happen, though I'm not clear what. There were also window shades involved, one of which I tried to close, and it was for a tiny window and it was maroon and vertical and way up high, and it seemed like my effort in closing it was rather large.

Snippet #2:

I'm in my house, though not my actual house, some random dream house, and the phone rings and the caller id says it's Jon somebody, and so I answer. Not because I know Jon somebody but because it seems like I should. And the guy says something like, "This is Jon calling for Carrie." And I answer that this is Carrie, and he starts talking about some sort of service that would be for an office, not a home, and so I stop him and say that he's reached a residence not a place of business, and he's shocked by this. Like he simply can't believe I'm not a business. And then he asks me something and it starts to freak me out, like maybe he knew I wasn't a business and was trying to find something out. And somehow in the middle of a sentence I pull the cord and disconnect him. And then the front door blows open, and the screen is open on the outside, and for that split second it IS my actual house. I kick the door closed, but it won't stay, so I examine it more closely and try to figure out how to close it. And then I decide to go outside and get the mail.

Snippet #3:

I'm at some sort of event, and both of my parents are there and it almost seems like they're still married, but I'm grown and it's confusing even in the dream. And there's a stage, and it's like it's at the front of a church, and suddenly I'm supposed to go up on it and dance with my dad, and we both think it's ridiculous and I trip going up the stairs because I'm laughing so much and for some reason we both have on gloves. My mom's sitting at a round table on the stage pushing us to the dance and so we both take off the gloves and start to dance, like some sort of waltz, which is foreign to both of us, and my mom's talking to us from the table as we try to make this happen despite the laughter, and it's all very hard. And then we make a turn and across the stage is my grandfather, also wearing gloves, and then there's some sort of scene, like he's going to do something on the stage, but no one's quite sure what. And then, Praise God, I woke up.

I mean, what in the world??? My brain is seriously cracked. It's not like I took all that medicine at once today. It was spread out from 8am to 8pm. Can you say crazy? Yes. I thought you could.

UPDATE: And the fun continues! I fell back asleep only to wake up nearly two hours later from this little gem of a dream...

My mom and I were in an airport waiting area...no idea what airport and no idea where we'd been or where we were going, but there we were, in the airport waiting to leave. And while we were waiting I was on my laptop trying to book another ticket, though again, I have no idea where I was going. However, I booked a ticket from Dallas to somewhere on Alaska Airlines. And then I got really frustrated because I'd booked it from Dallas instead of San Jose, but it was non-refundable so then I was trying to find a flight from San Jose to Dallas on Southwest but they were routing me through Chicago and it wasn't going to get me to Dallas on time so I just gave up and said I'd try again later. And then a gate attendant person gave us our boarding passes and we'd been upgraded to First Class, so that was nice, but there was something strange about it and my mom and I weren't really sure what, but we just went with it. Then I decided I needed to go to the bathroom, so I gathered my things together and had somehow left my shoes in the middle of the aisle, spread out with tons and tons of stuff. My mom and I had bags everywhere! Anyway, my shoes were in the middle of the aisle and a very tall man using two canes and making jokes about how he couldn't walk well nearly tripped on one, and I felt horrible, but he just laughed and his wife just shook her head. I slipped my feet into my shoes and started my search for the bathroom. We'd seen one earlier, so I left the lounge area and went looking for it, but passed it somehow and ended up walking a little further to the next bathroom where a camera crew was filming some sort of news clip and I couldn't get in, so I had to go back and I never did find the bathroom and then I woke, because you know, I had to go to the bathroom!!

ANOTHER UPDATE: When I finally woke up for good I woke up from a horrible dream where I was running from some sort of mechanical spider that was going up and down a tree making this terrible clicking noise. There were several people with me, and it's almost like this was sort of alien being or something because we were scared. We gathered some things from the house and got in the car and drove to what appeared to be my great grandparents farm in Texas, and for a second, the house looked like it, but then we turned the corner and it was HUGE! And looked nothing like their real house did. And inside it was like a museum with stuff everywhere, and I was touring people around showing them where I played as a kid, including a playroom under a staircase.

Seriously, I don't think I've ever had so many crazy dreams in one night. I'm almost afraid to close my eyes later tonight!

In my dreams I ride in a school bus, hear Todd Carey and want Chick-fil-A...

2011-04-10T07:42:00.000-07:00

I vaguely remember the first part of this dream...I was at a movie theatre, but then got picked up by a friend and proceeded to get into the school bus/winnebago thing he was driving. Inside said vehicle were his kids and a whole bunch of their friends. Meanwhile, his kids and their friends are all grown, one of them is even married in real life, but there they were, inside this vehicle...let's just go ahead and call it a bus.

So he's driving, and his daughter is in the passenger seat, but there's a seat between, so I slip in and we start to go. I attempt to sleep, but it's futile. I chat with his daughter for a while then move to the first bench of seating and pull out some crazy notebook that's long and skinny and has various activities/tasks on it...like games you'd play when you're on a cross country road trip or something. I'm just sitting there flipping through it and then I hear a Todd Carey song coming from the boys behind me, and they're asking who sings it, and I'm telling them It's Todd Carey and am stunned that they're listening to it and more stunned that they like it. Because these are boys who like hip hop and r & b. But I go with it as the song plays.

Then as it plays, my friend's son starts talking about the lyrics to another Todd Carey song, asking if they are, in fact, from a Todd Carey song, and again I'm stunned and I'm like, "Yeah. And how do you even know that song?" And he just smiles and laughs and I have a new appreciation for him and his friends.

At some point, my friend leaves the driver's seat and goes to the back of the bus to talk with the girls sitting back there, and no one's actually driving but we seem to be staying on the road. I reach into my bag and pull out my laptop and open it like I'm about to do something sneaky, which of course I'm not, but I open it and the boys are asking me all kinds of questions about it, but I'm sort of ignoring them, then end up closing it and putting it back in the bag.

Meanwhile, my friend's daughter decides she better take control of the bus because, in fact, we are about to go off the road, so she moves into the driver's seat and I sit in the passenger seat and neither of us are clear why her dad hasn't come back up front yet.

We pull into a town and it is now clear that we're in Wyoming. Well sure. And there's a Chick-fil-A, but we don't stop, and I'm instantly bitter that there are no Chick-fil-A's where we live, but it's a short-lived bitterness as we keep driving.

Finally her dad comes back up, and takes over the wheel, and something's up, but we're not sure what, then we learn that someone has spent $80,000 and there's no money left and now we have to find out what happened.

And then...I woke up...And that my friends, is my own personal crazy.

In my dreams I...well, you'll just have to read this one...

2011-03-12T08:50:00.000-08:00

In the beginning of my dream I was on a train - is it just me, or do I dream a lot about trains? - and I was taking up two whole rows of seats with my stuff. The train wasn't full so it didn't seem to be a problem, but I had a LOT of stuff, including an egg carton filled with donut holes that someone had given me. Yeah. You read that right. Pretty sure I'm gonna need a donut in a minute after eating them in my dream. Anyway...the train pulls into the station, and I think we were in Denver, but I can't be sure. I got off the train and left all my stuff on it, because apparently I was going to be getting back on after the layover. The problem was, that once I was upstairs, I got lost. And I couldn't find my way back to the train or all my stuff. There were three different sets of trains, but I couldn't figure out which one was the right one. I asked a lady coming up one of the ramps if she could help and she started talking to me in sign language so I couldn't understand anything. I was crying very hard in my dream, trying to figure out where I was going, and no one would help me.

I then found myself on a street and was going to cross back to the train station. The street corner was decorated like some crazy Christmas town, with a Christmasy mailbox and fake snow, and I don't even think I was supposed to be standing where I was, but I pushed the button to cross the street then just ran across after a group of teenagers.

I followed them into what appeared to be a train station - there was a ticketing machine and everything - but it turned out to be nothing of the sort. Every door was narrow and I had to squeeze through, and literally every person stared at me like I didn't belong there, which clearly I didn't. I went down an incredibly steep and winding set of blue stairs and ended up in an eatery of sorts where again, everyone stared at me. I left there and was in a laundry room, and then ended up in some sort of gaming room where, apparently, a giant gaming event was about to happen. I rushed around the room looking for the train and realized I was in the wrong place, and as people stared again, I went back through everything I'd just come through and got back to the top to look for my train again, which I never found and then woke up.

When I got back to sleep, my dreaming continued, but was a little more disjointed. At one point I was in a room about to watch a movie, and I was with a guy and his daughter, and I was telling him that a friend of mine had seen the premiere of the movie in LA and that all the characters were there. It seemed important and interesting at the time. Now it seems lame. We weren't in a theatre, which was weird, but in small room with regular chairs and some tall tables.

And then I saw an old friend from high school, and some other friends from other times in my life, and they were all leaving the room and doing something outside, but it's like they didn't see me. I was just watching them, and it made me sad. Then I leaned back in the room to see if they were ready to start and some random guy tells me they got Whitney Houston, so I go back in and sure enough, there she sits, in a shiny green dress. And this is young Whitney, Whitney that could sing the lights out of a room, Whitney before she went crazy...but she seems kinda bothered to be there, or maybe she was confused, but we chat for a minute and then the scene morphs.

Next thing I know I'm talking with the guy again, who I guess I was dating, but things weren't going well. We sat down on a bench, and he picked up his daughter so she was between us, and then he proceeds to get mad because I didn't put my arm around him, and then I was mad because he didn't put his arm around me, and he got all defensive saying he had his daughter and he couldn't do everything, so I put my arm around him and leaned on his shoulder, but it was quite clear that wasn't going to last very long. The scene then morphed and we were back in the room and there were a number of elderly folks there and they were watching video tapes and laughing and dancing and it was actually quite awesome.

I'm sort of thankful I woke up after all of that because wow. That was a whole lot of crazy for one night! And I didn't even take any Benadryl!!

In my dreams Buster Posey doesn't play on Opening Day...

2011-02-17T03:55:00.000-08:00

It's probably no secret to anyone that knows me that I'm excited for baseball season to start, so it's not all that surprising that I would dream about going to a Giants game. I've been trying to figure out how to get Opening Day tickets for the last couple of weeks and so far, it's not happening. But, in my dreams, I got to go.

So, the dream started with my friend Jill and I sitting in the stands at AT&T Park on a beautiful Opening Day. And the fans were excited! And then we learned that Buster Posey, last season's Rookie of the Year and one of the major stars of the team, would not be playing. And we were not pleased.

Then, we see that Buster is sitting in the stands with his dad, and he seems perfectly healthy and capable of playing. A few seconds later we're standing next to him and listening to him tell people that he's got some stuff to deal with, some personal stuff with his lady - yes, he called his girlfriend his lady, which is totally whack because he's married and I honestly can't imagine him saying the words "my lady". And it's like it's no big deal. He's just not playing because he's got stuff going on with her.

And then she appears, and is clearly pregnant, but no one's actually saying the words, and she seems perfectly fine and is actually quite friendly. She was blonde and wearing a black shirt very similar to one I have hanging in my closet. He's wearing a black sweatshirt and his hair is all shaggy and weird looking and his dad is just standing there not saying anything as we talk to Buster's lady.

Ummm...what? First of all...there's no way Buster would not play on Opening Day unless he was injured, and if he was injured, he'd still be sitting in the dugout. Second of all...he would not be so casual about any of this because he's just not that casual about anything. And third of all...who hooked us up with these tickets for Opening Day?

Yeah...my dreams are crazy!

In my dreams I shop for boots and get a McDonald's Coke...

2011-01-31T07:01:00.000-08:00

It's no secret to anyone that knows me that I don't really like shoes. If I had my druthers I'd wear flip flops every day for every occasion, so the idea that in my dream I'd be shopping for boots is just plain ridiculous. Nonetheless...

The dream started with me looking at ankle boots...you know, the ones that barely cover the ankle and show off your leg if you bend over or cross your legs. I've never really understood these boots, but in my dream, this is what I was looking for. And I found two pair, one black and one brown, that were absolutely gorgeous. But I wasn't sure so I called in my good friend Tasha who is a boot afficiando, and she was less than impressed. She agreed that they were beautiful shoes, but was also concerned about how if you bent over or crossed your legs that they were just sort of there looking strange. We actually had quite a lengthy discussion about how they only reason I was really looking at boots at all was to cover my feet, not to keep my legs warm, but somehow she convinced me to get a taller boot, though not knee height. I don't think I was very excited about this and in the end, I didn't come away with any boots. That part seemed real, because there's truly no reason I'd ever spend my money on boots of any height.

The dream then morphed to me being in my old hometown of Laramie and I was running late for something, heading toward some school, though I wasn't sure which one. It's not that there are so many in Laramie, but there are enough to need to know where you're headed. Anyway...I was driving down Grand and decided to take a detour through McDonald's because I was certain I couldn't survive the day without a Coke. This part of the dream was actually very close to reality because I often make this sort of detour on my way to work now. Anyway...I pulled into the drive-through and as I did, I heard someone singing, and when I looked into the window to see who it was it was my old friend David from Laramie who actually used to work at McDonald's (oh yeah, I worked there too at one point in time) and then I think switched to Burger King at some point, but it was like I wasn't supposed to be there and he was surprised to see me when I waved from the drive-through lane. He stopped singing but I told him to finish then ordered a well done hashbrown and a medium Coke with extra ice. And yes, that's my normal order for breakfast at McDonald's.

Next thing I know I'm inside the restaurant getting the Coke and it keeps spilling on me because the lid won't stay on and as I'm trying to get it to stay one of David's daughters (who I don't know at all in real life and have no idea if this was his real daughter or not) started talking to me, and she worked there too. I started talking to her so I could figure out which school I was supposed to be going to since apparently I was going there to see one of her sisters. Sure. Why not? She told me and then I finally got the lid to stay on my cup and left the restaurant.

That's all there was though since the alarm rang about that time and woke me up before I even got a sip of the Coke. And yeah, I don't think I need to tell you that I'll be stopping at McDonald's on my way to work this morning because I'm practically salivating right now.

In my dreams, I get on the wrong train and eat pie...

2011-01-20T06:38:00.000-08:00

So in this dream, a friend and I were in Philadelphia and we were heading to a concert. We were walking into the train station, and I walked through the normal entry but he decided to be "cool" and run up a ramp and bypass the line. It was pretty clear in the dream that this was something he did on a regular basis. I rolled my eyes as he ran by then got my ticket and started walking toward the train. Meanwhile, he got on the train and it started to pull away. He was standing there looking for me and I caught his eye and waved as he pulled away. I was irritated.

I got to the train, which looked very different than the train he'd just gotten on and before I realized it, I was on it but trying to get off because it was clearly the wrong train. But I was too late. So, there I was, on the wrong train, irritated with my friend and unsure where I was headed. I figured I'd just get off at the next stop, get back on another train going the other direction then figure out how to get back to where I was supposed to be going.

A minute later this open air train was soaring over water and I almost fell off. I realized I had to hang on a little more carefully as we flew. Yes. The train was flying. And it was beautiful. There was a river and lots of trees, but I still needed to get off.

When we pulled to a stop, back on the ground and in front of a little shopping center in the middle of the countryside, I asked the conductor when another train would be by going the other direction. He said it would be 10 minutes or so. So I got off and looked around for where the stop was on the other side of the road. When I turned around the train was gone and I was standing in front of a restaurant that looked much like an Armadillo Willy's. I was hungry but wasn't sure how much time I had, so I decided to get French fries and a Coke, but when I got to the counter, they talked me into getting pie. Apparently it was only a dollar. As the guy was putting the pie on my plate, I woke up.

And frankly, now I just want pie.

In my dreams I push little kids...

2011-01-15T07:23:00.000-08:00

It's no secret to anyone that knows me that I'm not really a kid person. I don't have any. I don't want any. And I'm just as happy to go about my life without being involved with any. There are a few I like, kids of friends, but these are rare and exceptional children. No thank you, I don't need to hold the baby. Just not my thing. I couldn't be happier for my friends with kids. Truly. It's just not my thing. I never had one of those biological clocks, so I guess it's no surprise that I would push a child in my dream. Please understand that I have never and would never do this in real life. Never.

In this dream I was in Canada. This is already crazy because I've never been to Canada and have no plans of visiting. Lately all I do is despise Canada because of its dirty hockey teams, but that's really a separate issue. Anyway...I was in Canada in some boutique in what may have been a hotel. I was with friends, but they left and I wandered through the store and found a bathroom. Apparently I couldn't wait to get back to my hotel room.

The bathroom was tucked away in a corner and its door was a plush velvet curtain, attached by a magnet of some sort. I was a little leary about it, but went in nonetheless. I set my keys on a small stool inside and proceeded to, well, you know, go to the bathroom.

As I was sitting there, a woman, a grandmotherly type, pulled the curtain open, and I was like, "I'll be just a minute!" and pulled the curtain closed. Mortifying. A second later, the woman is opening the curtain again and sitting down on the stool! What?!?! And then the child she was with practically jumps into the bathroom and I just pushed her down. Seriously. Pushed her and yelled at her that she had to wait. The grandmother meanwhile didn't even flinch.

I woke up about a second after that, probably because I actually had to go to the bathroom, but probably a little due to the shock that people were encroaching on my space and that I pushed a child to the ground.

I'm not terribly worried about the deep psychological meaning behind this dream, but you can bet I'll never go to a bathroom that's secured by just a curtain ever in my life.

In my dreams, I'm on a VH1 game show with Matt Nathanson

2010-12-24T07:41:00.000-08:00

Those of you that are Matt Nathanson fans, or possibly fans of VH1's Don't Forget the Lyrics, know that he was on there recently and almost won all the monies (check out a clip here). Unfortunately, he did not win, but he was completely entertaining to watch and certainly fun to listen to sing. If you've ever seen him live, you also know that he is hilarious and a teensy bit whacky.

In my dream, I was on a stage, and my friend Jill was with me, and there were a variety of other people there, and, of course, Matt. I have absolutely no idea what this game show was because it's nothing I've ever seen or heard of, but it had something to do with singing along with Matt, or Matt singing and us mimicing him...seriously. It was bizarre. So, there are some people sitting out in folding chairs and some of us up on a stage, and I was standing next to Matt, and he keeps cracking himself up and therefore cracking me up too. Jill was a couple of people down from me, and a kid next to me kept getting talked to by the producer. It's like he wasn't into it enough or something and the producer was trying to get him more excited. Meanwhile, I'm just standing next to Matt cracking up and practically have tears in my eyes because I was laughing so hard.

At one point, Matt's supposed to sing a part of a song and basically stand in front of each person and sing it; again, no idea what sort of crazy show this is, but that was the deal. So he's sort of walking down this line of people singing this line, and when he hits the person next to me (on the other side, not the one that kept getting talked to) he just cracks up when he watches them sing the line back, and this cracks me up, and we sort of get in trouble because they have to start something over. The next thing I know, he's back standing next to me, and we're watching the playback or something and we both just die laughing and he puts his arm around my shoulder and we are seriously laughing so hard that it hurts. And the producer seems at a loss for what to do because clearly he can't get that upset with Matt since he's like the star of this show or whatever.

So then the guy goes to the piano and is telling all of us, Matt included, that we need to be able to hit certain notes, and then he just plays this completely random series of notes on the piano. They are all over the place from very low to very high and people are trying to sing them and the producer is in pain from listening, and Matt turns to me and he's like, "Oh, I got this," and I say something like, "Of course you do." Then I guess he sings them, though I don't actually remember hearing him sing them, because the next thing I say to him is, "Nailed it!" and I do a little motion with my hands, and then he laughs and says, "Nailed it!" and mimics the motion I did and we crack up laughing again.

So then we're just chatting and this woman comes up and sees that we're getting along, and she seems to be his manager or something, not really sure. And it seems like we're talking about how long I've been following him, and how much I love his music, and he says, "So, did you like that thing we did in November?" and of course I say I loved it and it was great and he seems really excited about that and so does the woman, and I'm not completely sure what he was talking about, but I didn't get to find out anymore because naturally, that's when I woke up.

And now I'm thinking, November? What thing in November? I must know!

So there you have it. A little pre-Christmas crazy from me to you.

In my dreams, I hang out with musicians and hockey players

2010-11-08T05:54:00.000-08:00

Well, I haven't had a crazy dream in a while, so it's only fitting that this one included four different scenarios of crazy...

Part One - In which I travel in an SUV with Todd Carey and his band

This part of the dream started in a parking lot, and I had a suitcase or some sort of other bag with me and was clearly going on a trip. And I knew it was with Todd, but didn't know that when I opened the door to the SUV I'd be sitting next to him or that he'd be a complete nut bar. Someone took my bags and put them in the back and seriously, this SUV was PACKED! And so, we head out. And I honestly have no idea why I'm there because I'm not in the band, but I clearly know Todd and we're having fun, and seriously, he's just silly and we're clearly friends, but I don't know anyone else in the SUV. We stop at some sort of eating place and all get out and it seems the place is partially closed, but we wander through and then end up back in the SUV and we're back on the road. Okay sure. That could probably happen.

Part Two - In which I take a job and have to deal with a skeevy bathroom

The dream morphed to me sitting in a tiny office at a new job that I have no idea what is. And I'm trying to figure it out, but no one is very forthcoming, and I'm frustrated. This office is in a huge building, and it's all very dark and dingy, and when I went to the bathroom, it was ultra skeevy, and the stalls didn't have doors, but no one else seemed to care. Thankfully, I didn't stay very long in this part of the dream.

Part Three - In which I hang out with Joe Thornton and he smiles and laughs a lot

So somehow, I'm friends with Joe Thornton - yeah, that could probably happen too - and I can't honestly remember what we were doing in the dream, but he smiled and laughed at me pretty much the whole time. There was a car involved, and maybe I was driving it, but it was clear we hung out all the time and were good friends. Also, he was wearing the suit he was wearing in the booth on Saturday night, with that same amount of scruffy beard. Okay. Sure. Why not.

Part Four - In which I'm on a farm and pull a giant blue dog out of the ground

There were real friends and family in the last part of my dream, but that doesn't make it any less crazy. I was on a farm which may or may not have been my great grandparent's farm, and a couple of friends were there. I'm not clear exactly what was going on, but at one point, I was focused on getting the dogs in line. And these dogs were hibernating or something because they were all underground outside. And so one of them, I just called its name and it dug itself out of the dirt and took its place. But the other one, whose name was Joe by the way, had to be pulled out, and he was the biggest dog I've ever seen. I'm not clear on the breed, but maybe he was a mastiff. I just know that he was blueish in color and was practically sleep walking when I pulled him up from the ground.

Shortly thereafter I woke up and I shall now be on the lookout for giant blue dogs, Todd Carey's SUV and Joe Thornton. Any bets on who I'll run into first?

Dream on my friends...dream on...

It's things like this that make me hate Halloween...

2010-10-31T21:16:00.000-07:00

So. I'm in Texas. Small town Texas. Adjacent to crazy college town Texas. And I seriously hate Halloween right now.

I'm here visiting my grandparents and they live in a more rural area of this small town, which is actually not that far from the main town, but there are some windy roads and lots of trees, and well, it's dark. So, I left their place tonight to head back to my hotel...it's only 5 or 6 miles, and a fairly straight shot after you're done with winding. And I was almost back to the hotel...had pulled off the highway and was sitting at a light waiting to turn left.

That's when they pulled up next to me.

The crazy scary clowns.

Yes. That's right. Clowns.

You'll notice there's no photo in this blog because I hate clowns. HATE THEM. Poltergeist anyone? Yeah. I have zero need for clowns in my life, especially not grownish people dressed up like the crazy scary ones. It would have been one thing if they were just sitting in the car. I could have ignored them. But no. The one in the passenger seat was staring right at me through his crazy scary clown mask, and at first I thought, "yeah, ha ha, you're a scary clown..." And then he opened his door.

And the stupid light was still red, and he starts taking off his seatbelt and starting to get out of the car. Seriously. And in my mind I'm saying, "they're just trying to freak me out...college kids out to mess with the townies..."; and then I'm saying, to my mom whom I'm talking to on the phone at the time, "these clowns are freaking me out and I'm about to run this light."

And so, I pulled into the intersection. I was seriously going to run it. But there was a huge semi coming from the other direction, and I wasn't completely clear who had the green light, so I stopped, but the clowns were still out of their car, and so I turned right across two lanes and went the other direction on the road, hoping beyond hope they wouldn't follow me. I saw them turn left and flipped a u-turn and drove slowly back toward my original destination. I could see them in the car, a light or so ahead of me, and I made sure they were gone and didn't see me turn toward my hotel.

I seriously don't think I've ever been that freaked out. I made my mom stay on the phone with me until I was back in my room, and of course, I'm totally fine, and those idiots will go back to college tomorrow with a story about how they scared some girl out of her mind. They are sooooo invited to bite me. I really can't articulate how deeply I'm engraving those invitations either.

It's stupid. I live in a large city. I've visited and stayed in numerous large cities. Nothing has ever freaked me out this much. I mean, rural Texas, Halloween, scary clowns...it just doesn't add up well...

And so Halloween, I bid you a hasty goodbye. I have no interest in seeing you or your scary clown demon people every again.

All this in just 90 minutes of sleep...

2010-10-11T00:21:00.000-07:00

So, I went to bed around 10:15 tonight, and just woke up about 10 minutes ago from this GEM of a dream...

It started, and I was at work, though not in my actual office. In fact, I was in some sort of outside office. Whatever. Anyway, I was outside a classroom that had all glass walls when two gentlemen came up all sneaky like, one with a clipboard he was writing things on. They were looking very closely at the room and then at me, so I asked them if there was something I could help them with. Man one asked if I knew who owned the room, and I told him that I did. He was insistent that I didn't, so I said, "Well, I manage the room." He didn't believe me, and went on and on about how I couldn't possibly manage it, but I kept insisting that I did, and I was not pleased about their presence. There were kids in the room on some sort of exchange program. I'm not sure what they were doing, but these two men were very interested in that as well. When they finally left, I relayed the story to some coworkers, and they just couldn't believe it.

Moments later, I was in the car with these same coworkers, and the funny part is, it was my old red Neon, but for some reason, I wasn't driving, one of my coworkers/friends was. And we're driving away from campus and see a guy in a gas mask about to spray us with something. My friend swerves and we all duck and it was all very natural, like something we avoided on a regular basis. My friend turns the car toward a sloping driveway with three possible places for us to enter, deciding the one on the right was appropriate and maneuvering the car so it ended up in the path. It was like entering one of those automated car wash places where you have to get your car in the grooves or it won't go through. Only this took us down into some sort of warehouse that was almost like a flea market, which, FYI, I would never go to in real life.

The car stopped at the bottom, and we all got out. I'm not clear what was going to happen to the car, but this whole adventure seemed like something we did all the time. So we start wandering through this sea of crap, and I mean crap, and trying to find stuff we want/need. I remember seeing piles of carpets and rugs and then roaming into an area where people had disposed of things like exercise balls and things that bounce. I sat down on an exercise ball that was clearly made for kids, because it had an animal face and feet that would suction to the ground when you sat down. And I was THRILLED at this find! I was laughing like a little kid and bouncing on the ball while my coworker/friend mocked me. I got off the ball and followed my friend to another place, and then I had a Coke in my hand. And on top of my Coke was a purple horse. A small one, but a purple horse nonetheless. And I was possibly even MORE thrilled about that because I kept singing about it. "There's a horse on my Coke! There's a horse on my Coke!" And I was laughing hysterically and so was my friend, and then, I took the lid off my Coke and the horse fell in, and I was so sad. I think I even said, "There's a horse in my Coke." And then I realized it was a koala bear, not a horse. And then I woke up.

How can I possibly go back to sleep now???

Oh the dreams I dream...

2010-10-03T20:47:00.000-07:00

Over the last two nights I've had some crazy sorts of dreams...really though, just a bunch of dream snippets. I debated blogging Friday night's dreams yesterday but never got around to it, so thought I'd add last night's into the mix. So, here they are...in no order whatsoever...just the brief snippets to prove, once again, that I'm nothing if not crazy.

In snippet one, I'm at a movie theatre, and there are HUGE escalators everywhere. I'm with a friend or two, but they keep changing as I move about this giant theatre. At one point, I get to some popcorn, but there's something hard about actually getting it. We do it, but it's exhausting. At another point, we're in a buffet line, choosing other foods to eat. I'm not sure if we're taking that food into the theatre or what because the dreams morphs after that.

Snippet two finds me in a large group of people all talking about/obsessed with babies. I'm not obsessed with them, but everyone else is. And in fact, there's a huge room filled with babies in cages. Yes. Cages. Like they're animals in a shelter. Now, those of you that know me know that I'm not a fan of babies, but even I realize they shouldn't be kept in cages. But in the dream, it's all perfectly normal. And so, people come to this room to get their babies. And I remember some of the characters from the TV show Parenthood being there, which sort of makes sense because there's a storyline about one of them wanting to have another baby, but I also remember my grandfather being there, so who knows what all of that was about.

Snippet three finds me walking in New York with my friend Mary - who actually lives in New York in real life, so that's not really a stretch. What's weird in the dream though, is that it's like she's never been there. And it appears that we're walking in Brooklyn, and are looking for a specific restaurant. And so we walk, and we keep going through these mini tunnels, and then we go through one and realize we've gone too far...like we've crossed into the dark side of Brooklyn, where a street performer is playing percussion on some old plastic containers. In front of a tennis court that seems run down. We turn back and appear to be in a large open area in the vicinity of the Brooklyn Bridge. Before I know it, the dream finds the two of us sitting at a table having breakfast. With Matt Nathanson. And a waiter is there and he takes an orange out of Matt's drink and squeezes it into mine. And it seems perfectly normal. And then waiter has a camera, which apparently is Matt's, and he starts to take our picture, only I'm totally not paying attention, but I do smile in the end, and it's a good picture of the three of us and Matt assures us that he'll email it to us.

And finally, snippet four finds me going to a concert. That's not really so unbelievable, but weirdly, I had two concerts to attend in one night. At the same venue. One was free, and one I had a ticket to. But even I was confused about it in the dream. So I got to the venue, which I believe was the HP Pavilion in San Jose, and the first concert is really tiny in a room that seats about 50 people. And so I sit down at a table with people I don't know, and someone brings me a salad that I don't really want, and then some sort of sandwich or other food that I also don't want. And I pick at it, and then they come and take it away. The concert is supposed to be Aimee Mann and her sister. I've never listened to her music, nor do I know if she has a sister, but the concert never actually materialized in my dream anyway, so whatever. From there, I am in some sort of transportation device headed to the other concert. This was confusing since I thought it was in the same venue. And in front of me, I see a friend in another vehicle, and he's looking at me and wondering how it is that I'm behind him when he thought I wasn't going to be there or was going to be late or something. I try to tell him that I'll explain later. And then I'm in a van with a bunch of ladies I used to work with, and they're pulling into a parking space by some water, and I try to tell her that she's gone too far, but she doesn't believe me. And when I get out, I'm practically in the water and I finally make her back up. And then the parking lot changes and there are other spaces, and she moves while gates are opened and closed remotely. I also see the Chief of Police from my current workplace trying to get her smart car in under a gate, and she seems rather sneaky about it, but I just look at her and move on. The other concert, who I have no idea who was, never materializes either and then I wake up.

No wonder I never feel rested when I wake up!

In my dreams, I get fired and throw gravel at people

2010-09-19T07:17:00.000-07:00

I wholly disapprove of the dream I just woke up from...there really are no words...

Number one - I was fired and went to work at Fresno State on a temporary basis. Thank goodness I actually knew people there or I might have been screwed. But it appeared I was working in some sort of secret job, where maybe I was investigating something. As we toured around campus, which looked suspiciously like a wild animal park, we saw seals and walruses and even a giraffe. Yeah. Okay. Then I sat down at a desk and the gal I was working with asked me to call a restaurant and get some information, so I did. And it was fine, and very bizarre.

Number two - The person who fired me was still my friend, and we were hanging out at someone's house, but he was better friends with someone else, and it was completely awkward and awful...like I was being pushed out. We were sitting on the couch and this other person was sitting between us, and they were talking quietly so I could hear just enough, but then they'd stop when they realized I could hear them. Apparently in this dream we were actually in junior high...goodness.

Number three - This same former boss/friend and I were then touring the house and lamenting how crowded it was and making suggestions about how we would change it. I remember that the kitchen counter actually had two sets of stove burners, and I suggested they should get a cover for one if they weren't going to remove it, because it was taking up a lot of counter space. Apparently in this dream I was also an interior designer? Whatever. Moments later we were standing at the fridge in this house (still not sure who owned the house) and he got very excited by some ice cream in the freezer, then yelled for some teenage kid who came and indulged in the ice cream too. No idea who owned the kid either.

Number four - I was walking on a gravel path with this same person, and he was talking to someone else about how awkward it was since he'd had to fire me, and I got really mad and picked up a handful of gravel and threw it. At people. People who weren't even involved but just happened to be walking by. I tried to apologize to one of the men it hit, and naturally, he was really angry. I started to apologize to the other man, but my former boss/friend pulled me back and told me to not say any more.

And then I woke up.

Apparently, in my subconscious, I'm afraid I'm going to get fired, have to go work in a zoo in Fresno and will lose my friend and become an angry gravel-thrower. Wow. This is not good information.

In my dreams, I laugh hysterically with Brian Austin Green

2010-09-18T05:59:00.000-07:00

There wasn't a whole lot to this dream, but the Brian Austin Green portion stood out enough for me to feel like I should share.

The dream started with some sort of camp scene where I was in a van being driven up a mountain with some other friends, and it was one of those scary vans that may or may not make it across a street, much less up a mountain, but we made it and I was never so happy to be out of the van in my life. There were some kids around, and I'm still not clear if I was working at the camp or attending it. I do remember a discussion about headphones and music, but even that's a little blurry.

At one point in this dream I was walking through a canyon with a couple of kids and a couple of adults...at another point I was walking up to a registration desk of sorts...at another point I was recalling driving up Casper Mountain (in Wyoming). That's where I went to Girl Scout camp in grade school. Yeah. Crazy that I was thinking about it...even crazier that I went...but that's another story...

The dream ended with a bunch of people sitting around in chairs, and as I walked into the chair area - seems like they were outside to start with - a bunch of people started moving around so that I could sit together with the people I walked in with, but I had no interest in that and sat on the end of the row of chairs. That's when Mr. Green (Mr. Austin Green?) showed up. He slid down next to me and we started talking and laughing. Laughing hysterically. I have no idea what we were talking about to start with but then we were on a train, still sitting in the chairs and were mocking the people around us who were suddenly transformed into drunken idiots. Seriously.

And then I woke up...and now I sorta want to watch this movie: This Time Around.

In my dreams, Todd Carey has blond highlights and I wear a wedding dress

2010-09-13T23:05:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so, I had another one of those totally random dreams where the parts were completely disconnected from each other. I do remember that I fell asleep watching The Big Chill so maybe that has something to do with the crazy? It's possible I'm just crazy.

Part I - Todd Carey

So, in the dream, I was visiting Todd at his house...more like an apartment...and actually, I think it was his mom's house/apartment. Not that I have any sort of idea what type of residence Todd or his mom live in...but I digress. Anyway...there were Christmas decorations everywhere, but it wasn't Christmas; not even close to Christmas actually, and I thought it was odd. I sat down in a recliner chair, and Todd's mom was on a couch. And she was very sad, like some tragedy had occurred, but I wasn't sure what. Then Todd came in and his hair had blond highlights - not a good look to be honest. And he was sad too. And I felt bad, but I didn't know what to say. No words were spoken and then the scene morphed.

Part II - Wedding Dress

In this part of the dream, I was in a bedroom, and was wearing an orange dress, but put on a wedding dress over it and was dancing around the room with my dad. I'm not sure if we were practicing for a dance or what, but it was strange, and I didn't seem to be enjoying it. The scene shifted, and I remember there was a cat on the bed, near a box of stuff, and then there was a lot of stuff on the bed...and it seemed like I was supposed to be doing something with it. Then I stepped out, then back, and the stuff was gone with the exception of one box. And in the box was a garter, and I was in the wedding dress again, still over the orange dress. And I just sat down with the box and the garter and wondered what was supposed to happen next.

Seriously. What is wrong with my brain?

In my dreams, I teach science with a slinky

2010-09-06T07:56:00.000-07:00

Oh dear. Waking up from a dream in which I was a teacher is bad enough, but the fact that I was teaching some sort of science? So far from reality I can't even tell you.

So in this dream, I remember driving up to a school that was new, but yet, sort of run down. And the woman taking me to my classroom leads me down a flight of stairs, then around a corner, then into an elevator that takes us up one floor and then tells me the next elevator is around the corner, but I just skip it because it seems too weird and walk up the rest of the stairs. Seriously. It was like the Winchester School of Mystery Elevators.

I get to the classroom and it's clearly a room built for science, with lab tables and beakers and such, and so I look around a bit before the kids show up, and then they come. And they're smallish - maybe 4th or 5th grade I'd guess, and I literally have no idea what I'm doing. So I devise an ice breaker wherein I ask them to say their name, what their favorite part of summer was and what they're most looking forward to in school. And it starts off okay, but then more kids come, and soon there aren't enough places to sit, and I'm highly annoyed by it, but the kids keep talking, saying their nams, etc. and soon it all evens out. I single out one boy to work on a solo project and it keeps him occupied throughout the dream. I have no idea what he was doing, but there were all sorts of things in a giant sink and he was completely engaged - I guess that's a good thing, right?

At one point, another teacher shows up - an older man who is clearly experienced and entertained by my level of newness. He pulls out a slinky - yes. A slinky. And puts it next to a tape recorder which also amplifies its sound. And so we all hear the slinky movement as it walks back and forth. But I don't seem to approve and go dig in my locker - oh yes, I had a locker - and find a purple plastic slinky instead. I suppose that would actually be called a spring coil since slinky is really a brand name, but I digress. I bring the man the plastic slinky and amazingly, it makes the sound I was looking for. Yeah. It makes no sense to me either.

For some reason, I leave the classroom and go down the hall where I'm suddenly in a living room of some sort, and it appears to be that of my parents or grandparents, and my grandmother is there looking at pictures and random collectibles sitting on some circa 1974 glass shelves. And she's really sad, but when my mom asks her why, she can't say. And then I'm back in the classroom and suddenly there's no power. And I open the door and realize that there's some sort of fire alarm but we didn't hear it in our room. So I tell everyone to get in line and we proceed to leave the room. But then a few minutes later we're back and kids are just sitting around - in desks, not at the lab tables, which appear to have gone by the wayside - waiting for me to dismiss them, only they're older now, but very patient...like they've been waiting a long time for me to say it's okay to go. So I tell them they can leave, and then, I wake up.

Really? Really????

I took science in junior high and high school, and some of it I really enjoyed...Mr. Vasek's Physics class, Mr. Abelson's Chemistry class...but as a general rule, science and I do not mix. And teaching? Oh good grief. That is never something I wanted to do. I admire teachers and have several friends that are teachers. Never would I want to be one.

So no idea where this dream came from. I recall falling asleep watching A Knight's Tale, so I can't imagine this seeped in from that. If I'd been watching Weird Science, I could totally understand.

Ah well...there it is...another look at the land of crazy that my brain resides in...

In my dreams, I hang with Green Day and visit Fresno to learn about sharks

2010-08-31T03:22:00.000-07:00

Okay...I must be excited about seeing Green Day on Saturday because I just woke up from yet another dream where I was just hanging out with them. (Read about prior dream here.)

Anyway...so, in this dream there was a fairly large group of people hanging outside a huge house - just assuming that it was one of the Green Day boys' estates...but it appeared to be in a mountainous area...lots of land...and we were all in a circle of lawn chairs outside...it was evening and the stars were shining. It was actually quite beautiful. I didn't really know anyone else that was there and was actually sort of sitting toward the back of the event, but then the crowd thinned and there were just a few of us and suddenly, a set of lights went on above that were sort of like fire. And they started to spark, and Billie Joe came up to me and said I might want to move because the wind was shifting and I could get burned by the sparks. So I got up and moved to another part of the yard to sit. That's when I saw the governator (a.k.a. Arnold Schwarzenneger) smoking a huge cigar. He took a big puff and passed it to someone else who passed it to me, and I was rightly disgusted and passed it right back. Gross.

And then, I was at Fresno State - where I happen to be headed for a day next week. And the folks I'm headed to see were in this dream, but in real life, I'm headed there to talk about software. In my dream, I was there to talk about sharks. No, not San Jose Sharks, real sharks. Because apparently my coworkers/friends at Fresno State study sharks. WHAT?! And they had real sharks there for us to take a look at. Yeah. Awesome.

Apparently that wasn't quite interesting enough though and moments later, I was visiting friends in Chicago who had gotten married the weekend before - they actually got married earlier this summer in reality. And I'm not exactly clear what we were doing, but they decided to check into a hotel to celebrate their one week anniversary, and I was left standing there by myself wondering what had just happened.

And then, thankfully, I woke up. My brain is seriously cracked!!

In my dreams, I win money

2010-08-28T08:30:00.000-07:00

In my dream, I won $70,000. That's right. $70,000. I don't understand the amount either, but hey, if it happened in real life, I'd take it. And I'd buy a much cooler car than I've been thinking about buying. In my dream, however, I was having a really hard time figuring out what to buy. In fact, at first, it seemed like I could only buy stuff from the place where I won the money, which was some sort of restaurant - maybe even an Applebee's now that I think about it. So, I started by picking out gift cards of all different values for various things - Southwest and Disney are the two I remember picking. That really seemed to be the best I could do. And then, I was no longer in that restaurant but was roaming about some town with my mom and my grandfather, and maybe even my dad, which is weird since my parents haven't been married for over 25 years, but whatever. And we come upon Morton's and my mom and I both lament how we want to go but it's too expensive. Apparently I forgot I'd just won all that money. But then we just decide to go, and it's in this cool building that's attached to a parking garage - it's all made of very dark brick and looks really slick. And so we start to head in that direction, but then I suddenly remember that I've won the money and have left all the gift cards I picked out back at the other restaurant. And then, as I was thinking about it, I thought about buying a car but didn't know how to go about doing it. And I was just starting to go back up to the clerk at the counter - because somehow I back in the first place - to ask about it when I woke up. And now I kinda want a steak...

In my dreams, well, I'm just crazy

2010-08-20T05:39:00.000-07:00

The first time I woke up, it was around 11pm...and here's what I'd just dreamed:

I was in what appeared to be an old hotel...someone mentioned we were in Chicago. I believed them. There were approximately six of us, and we were running from something, escaping actually. I turned back toward a door as the rest went to wait for an elevator. I opened the door, turned on multiple sets of lights, and ran quickly down an aisle behind a series of desks, hoping no one was behind me and wishing I'd locked the door. At the last desk, I picked up three pairs of sunglasses that were apparently all mine. I hung one pair from my shirt, put another on my head and lamented that I had no location for the third as I ran back through the aisle, lights still on, and back out of the room to find the others still waiting for the elevator.

Yep. That's it.

The second time I woke up, it was somewhere in the neighborhood of 12:40am:

I was in a house of some sort, smallish, and kind of like an apartment, and it was rather empty. I don't think it was my house. In fact, I believe I was there taking care of someone's cat. And then I was in a grocery store buying something, maybe for the cat? It's hard to tell because I wasn't there long. And then I was either watching on TV or from a distant sidewalk, scenes from the TV show Friday Night Lights - which I've never watched by the way, but even I know it takes place in Texas. However, in my dream, it was taking place at Clemson. And Kyle Chandler was there, as the head coach of Clemson, but he was talking about moving to Texas. And basically, all I saw was him and some players, and maybe his wife, standing outside the stadium talking about it. And then, I was back in the house. And at some point, a friend of mine came to see me, and when he did, he left the sliding doors open, but there were curtains in front of them, so the cat, apparently, couldn't get out. And maybe there were screen doors too because a few minutes later, I opened the curtains and the doors and let two men in suits in who were looking for Kyle Chandler's character. I let them in and they weren't very nice, and then they just disappeared. And then my friend went to the back bedroom and I told him I'd be back in a minute. And then, there were bugs everywhere. Literally, everywhere. On the floor, on the walls, on the ceiling. All sorts of bugs. Some were flying, some were crawling, and I had no shoes on and I was stepping on them, and I knew they were there because the door had been left open, but I didn't know what to do, so I just turned off the lights and walked down the hall, stepping on bugs as I went, and freaking out the whole way. I got to the bedroom and my friend was sitting in bed, the covers over him - also covered in bugs. I took my sweatshirt off and started waving it around the room, shaking bugs off, freaking out further and then finally, just got in the bed and pulled the covers up.

And then, Praise God! I woke up. And when I did, I started thinking about what it meant to have bugs all over the place in my dream and realized that something is definitely bugging me. But what?

Thinking a little more about this, I'm now remembering another show Kyle Chandler was in that I loved - Early Edition. And oh yeah, there was a cat that played a big role in that show. I haven't thought about that show for years, but I loved it! Could this cat have possibly been that cat? Hmmm...

Somehow, I was able to go back to sleep, and here's the final piece of the dream that I woke up from at 4:41am when my alarm actually went off:

I was at what appeared to be a funeral and there were hundreds of people in the room. And I'm not completely clear, but I might have been Rory Gilmore or I might have just been observing her very closely. Lorelai was definitely there, and when the floor was opened up so people could say something about the deceased - no idea who it was by the way - both she and I told the crowd they couldn't say anything mean, and she was actually pretty mean about it herself, and some of the crowd got restless and even said she was rude. In the end, no one actually said anything and then she and I were in a hall, and I appeared to be in a wedding dress. I told her I'd meet her for dinner in a few minutes, and as we were walking in the hall of a hotel, a door opened and a man pulled me into his room. But then a second later, I was in the hall with a set of keys opening a door. And the room was dark, but I didn't turn on any lights. I heard talking, like from a radio, but couldn't figure out where it was coming from. I sat the keys down by the TV and sat down on the bed, saying "Hi" at the same time and then realizing that's where the man I was looking for was. And oh, it was Logan Huntzberger. And I'm not actually clear, but I think we were married, but maybe it was his funeral we were attending, and maybe he was in hiding for some reason, but he said he missed me, I said I missed him too, and he pulled me into his arms and told me his new name, which, weirdly, was the name of a friend of mine from high school. And as he kissed me, I woke up.

I just really have no words for any of it. No words whatsoever.

In my dreams, I sleep through U2 and Rob Thomas laughs

2010-08-05T08:18:00.000-07:00

So, I woke up from another crazy dream this morning, starring me, a friend and U2...Rob Thomas and and another friend also made an appearance.

So I had a ticket to U2 and it was the second night in a row I was seeing them. My friend bought a ticket from someone on the street...and ended up paying only $71 (yes, $71!!) and it was a front row seat. My seat was high up, and oh yeah, Maroon 5 was opening for them - yes, whack.

So the concert gets going and I fall asleep. Like SOUND asleep and sleep through pretty much the whole concert. Clearly a dream!! But at some point, my friend was in this crazy costume and was part of the show, and it was HILARIOUS! She was in this silvery outfit and was roaming all around with other people in silvery outfits, and then I was awake and sitting on the front row of a different section, with my other friend and, oh yes, Rob Thomas right next to us.

While we were waiting for our silvery friend, I was talking to her about the other concerts we were going to...Rob Thomas, Green Day, and also mentioned I had two others besides those (that would be Todd Carey and I don't know what else, because that's the only other one in the same time frame - and yes, we really are going to see Rob Thomas and Green Day in real life; and I'm seeing Todd Carey too). Rob Thomas was laughing to our right, but I'm not sure he heard us, and when I tried to say something, it was clear he was on the phone and totally ignoring us, so then we just left. and then my alarm went off.

Completely cracked. Yep. That's me.

Does my lunch make me crazy?

2010-07-27T13:42:00.000-07:00

This is what I ate for lunch today.

Egg roll.

Tacos.

Funnel cake.

That's right. Funnel cake. How awesome that you no longer have to visit the fair or the creepy carnival to find it. Thank you Jack in the Box. Really. Thank you.

My theory is that anything bad will just slide right out of my system because of all the fried food I eat. Might it also send me to an early grave? Well yeah. It might. But at least I'll have the satisfaction of having enjoyed what I ate.

It's not like I always eat fried food. Okay, mostly it's my food of choice and I'm lucky to have a huge tolerance for it. I did have a salad for dinner last night, so somehow, that balances this out. I'm certain of it. And anyone who says otherwise shall be slapped.

So yeah, this lunch combo was a little bit crazy, but it was also freaking delicious. Sorry for those of you who just had a salad. I'm sure that was, well, I'm sure it was...good? Sure. Let's go with that. Maybe tomorrow you'll make your own trip down the hill and find some deep fried goodness. If not, please feel free to continue living vicariously through my eating expeditions.

Until my next adventure...

Like a (crazy) bridge over troubled water

2010-07-21T21:17:00.000-07:00

Stop singing now. This isn't about the song. I promise. Although I do love that song...but that's another story...

For those that know me, you know I have no love for bridges. It's the combination of height and water and knowing that at some point when I'm on one there will be an earthquake and my car will fall from the highness, into the water, and I'll be completely screwed. I do my best to avoid bridges, but sometimes, especially in the Bay Area, it's just not an option.

I work on the East side of the Bay. Driving to and from work is easy. No bridges. San Francisco is on the West side of the Bay. Driving to and from there from home is easy. No bridges. The problem arises when I need to get to San Francisco from work. BRIDGE.

A friend and I were discussing my, okay, let's just say it, phobia, and I'm pleased to announce that I think I can make things a little more crazy next time I cross a bridge - that will be Friday by the way.

My typical m.o. (that's modus operandi or method of operating) when crossing a bridge is this:

1 - unlock all doors.

2 - roll down windows and open sun roof (really a bummer if it's raining).

3 - unbuckle seat belt (yes, I know, there are laws, but I have my own law: when I fall from the bridge, I must be able to get out of the car).

4 - drive as fast as possible without being reckless and just get over the dang thing!!

Last year a friend pointed out to me how funny it would be if I got stopped in the middle of the bridge for speeding, with an add-on ticket of having no seat belt on. Because of course, having to STOP in the middle of the bridge would be a thousand times worse than just getting over it in a safe and seat belted manner. Yeah. Ha ha. Funny.

Tonight, another good friend (and recent recipient of a master's degree in counseling) gave me some new things to think about, and frankly, I am ALL for them!

1 - swim goggles - why hadn't I thought of this before? this would make seeing in the water MUCH easier.

2 - life jacket - OMG! brilliant! I must get one!!

3 - flask of whiskey - because as he said, when people survive things like falling from bridges into water, they're typically drunk; he suggested I get something where the flask would be encased in glass and I'd have to "break for emergency" - yeah, I think my friend's enabling me, but I'm totally okay with it.

Crazy? Probably.

Entertaining? Indeed.

Isn't that why you keep reading?

In my dreams, I'm involved with SNL and know Pierce Brosnan

2010-07-11T06:23:00.000-07:00

I don't remember a whole lot about this dream I just awoke from, but I had to share nonetheless...

The dream ended with me driving an intoxicated Pierce Brosnan, and someone else that I'm not sure I know, from a party in a park to an old industrial like brick building. I was driving a large SUV that Pierce was sleeping in the front seat of. I remember handing a handful of change to the other person, a woman who may or may not have been Rachel Dratch from Saturday Night Live (SNL). It also may or may not have been Lena Olin. This sort of makes more sense since I saw a movie late yesterday afternoon with Pierce and Lena. But anyway...I drove them away from this park, and it was clearly Pierce's SUV, not mine because he had to tell me where to insert the key. I'm driving and then realize I'm in the wrong lane, but I can't move over because there are hundreds of cars coming. But then the lane cleared and I could have moved over, but didn't. And the light was green a really long time, but still, I didn't move.

When we finally arrived at the building, I got out, and am not sure what happened to Pierce and the woman, but I went inside and found my old friend Serena from high school and her husband Tracy. And apparently they either owned the building, or maybe Serena's parents did, because they were clearly working in the front area and there were pictures of them and their family everywhere. And I mean EVERYWHERE. I hadn't seen them in years (that's true in real life too!) and in the middle of talking to them is when I woke up.

Before all this, however, I was actually hanging out with Tina Fey and Rachel Dratch and several others from SNL...lots of others actually. And we were in this park doing some sort of sketch or actually just living real life together. It's hard to tell. I remember feeling out of place a lot and wandering from group to group to see if I fit in. It was strange and I'm certain it says something deep and seeded about my life, but whatever. I also remember that while I was driving at some point in the movie there was a Cold Stone Creamery and I wanted it, but we had no time. Really unfair!

So there it is...another notch in my crazy belt. Happy Sunday Everyone!

In my dreams, I date Robert Pattinson and know Rory Gilmore

2010-07-01T06:26:00.000-07:00

That's right. Robert "I'm the sparkly vampire Edward" Pattinson. And Rory Gilmore, played by Alexis Bledel, but she was Rory in my dream.

There really wasn't a lot happening in this dream I just woke up from, but the mere fact that Mr. Pattinson was in it seemed blog-worthy.

The dream started in an office building, maybe my new office building, but I'm not completely sure. And I was there helping someone with an IP address problem while my boss - and yes, it was my actual boss - was helping someone else with their IP address problem. FYI, this is not what we do in real life, and I'm not even clear why we were doing it in the dream, but there it was.

I was back in my office and then the scene morphed to another office, and a guy and a girl I knew but don't really know in real life were there, and it was clear there was something going on with them, but they were trying to hide it from someone else in the office. After this other girl left, the girl flipped up a couch cushion and pulled out a movie that she and the guy started to watch, and I was clearly in the way, so I left. I clearly didn't find it weird that there was a couch and a TV in the office. Whatevs.

After that, the dream morphed to a parking lot which is where Robert Pattinson showed up. Apparently we were friends, and he was - and I know this will shock you - brooding about something. I was trying to ascertain why he was upset, but he didn't say anything, just took my hand in his and we started walking. And I was surprised by this action, but just went with it. As we walked it became clear we were together but maybe hadn't made it public yet. I have no idea where we were going, but we just kept walking. We ended up where his car was supposed to be but wasn't, and he was mad that he'd either forgotten where he parked or that someone had possibly stolen his car. That's when Rory showed up.

And she was very Rory and told us she'd take us to the car and seemed annoyed that he was so upset. I tried to calm him down and then it started to rain. So he handed me a hooded sweatshirt - I know you're surprised by that too - and it was a New York Yankees sweatshirt, and I pulled it on, and as we walked, I pulled the hood up. And we looked like two broody people hunkered down in our hoodies. Gee, sound familiar?

I'm not sure what happened to Rory at that point, but Robert and I ended up sitting down somewhere, and maybe it was a couch, but I'm not totally clear. But finally, he smiled, and of course, that's when I woke up.

Facebook thinks I'm a tween...

2010-06-30T21:21:00.000-07:00

You know how on Facebook they now have these recommended pages or friends or things they think you should do?

Contact so and so...you haven't been in touch for a while.

Be this person's friend...12 of your friends are their friend.

People who like this also like this.

12 of your friends like this (and therefore you should like it too).

Yeah. It's fun. Here's what I found today...don't judge...

Hmmm...maybe I AM a tween...

Now back to me...

2010-06-23T06:11:00.000-07:00

I just posted a dream from a friend of mine that I've been meaning to post for days. Apparently my own dreams got jealous of my friends and decided to get crazier than usual last night. I'm not even sure I can accurately describe everything, but trust me, it was nutty.

In my dream, I was chatting with a good friend whose name I won't mention - protecting the innocent, all that - and she tells me that the extra fat I see is the good kind, like, she's intimating that she's pregnant. I don't really say much, but then she says she's okay with it because she's engaged and it's all okay. I seem to be annoyed by this and am likely about to tell her that when suddenly, I'm in a courtroom.

I'm not exactly clear what's happening in this courtroom because I'm not there long, but there was definitely some sort of trial going on. I'm not clear if I was on trial or if I was a lawyer or just some crazy passerby. But moments later, I was on a road.

And as I was driving down this road, people were stopping and plugging in their Apple products - I know this because all the plugs were small, square and white. I see some people from church that I haven't seen in months, and they are going on and on about how great it is that the State of California installed all these power things along the road. I start looking at it to determine if it's solar, but I can't figure it out and don't really understand why they are literally every 5-8 feet. So I get back in my car and continue on my way. And apparently, I was on my way to Rome. I had no idea it was so close to the US!

So I'm driving and I appear to be just driving over some hills. There's no actual road, although I see a road in the distance. I definitely have a mission, and as I look at a map, I see that I'm near the Trevvi Fountain. Yes, I realize the actual spelling is Trevi, but in my dream, it had two v's. So, I start looking for the sign for this fountain, and sure enough, I pass it, and it's down this tiny little dirt road, and not that I've ever been to the real Trevi Fountain, but trust me when I say, this wasn't it. Though there are all kinds of people looking around what appears to be a giant cement well. And naturally, I run into my friend Tasha and her son and another child that I have no idea who is. She proceeds to tell me this other child is a bit of a nightmare to travel with. So we wander around, and there are also folding chairs so people can sit, and then someone gets up to talk, maybe to extol the value of the fountain. She's wearing a red robe, much like a priest might wear, though I'm certain she wasn't a priest. She's starts talking, then it's really a man talking, and three more people get up behind him in white robes, as though they're going to sing. I even make a comment about them being angels.

Moments later I'm looking around for something and, oh yes, my good friends Booth and Bones are there. And clearly something's happened, and we're trying to figure out what. So Bones sneaks into a building that just happened to appear, and she's breaking open bars of chocolate and finds something hidden in one.

And then, I'm standing in front of WVU men's basketball coach Bob Huggins. Because, you know, that's how all crazy dreams should end.

Still not the only one that's crazy...

2010-06-23T05:48:00.000-07:00

Another friend of mine that regularly reads this blog shared a crazy dream she had...and so naturally, I'm going to share it with you...so read on for the crazy dream goodness brought to you by Jenna (reprinted with permission from the email she sent me last week)...

I had a dream about you last night. Well... you weren't in it, but you were there indirectly. You see, I was a trainer for Adobe, teaching people how to make PDFs accessible. I had my cool sweater with the Adobe logo on it and my laptop and projector in a little rolling bag, all set to go out to customer sites and teach classes. I drove over to CSUEB and fought through the whole parking thing and then rolled my bag into this building. Inside the building there was a reception desk, but no one was around. I figured I was a bit early, so I waited. Eventually, two women came walking in talking and chatting. One of them was that lawyer Kim from Drop Dead Diva, and she sat down in the receptionist's chair. She totally ignored me and kept talking to her friend about where they went for lunch. So I'm standing there looking at her. Finally, finally she looks over at me and I say, "I'm here to see Carrie." Then she gives me this "look" and says, "Why don't you give her a call and let her know you're here?" WHAT? I can't BELIEVE this woman is being so snippy with me. As politely as I can, I ask her, "Aren't you the receptionist?" but she just gives me that "look" again. Just as I'm turning around to pull out my cell phone... I woke up. Thought you'd get a laugh out of it.

It's nice to know that I'm not the only one that thinks Kim on DDD is evil. Thanks for sharing Jenna!

It's not just me that's crazy!

2010-06-10T05:33:00.000-07:00

It's so refreshing to know I'm not the only crazy dreamer out there...please enjoy this guest blog from my friend Jeff...

The other night I had a vivid dream that struck me as both bizarre and funny. This made me instantly think of my friend Carrie who has a blog where she sometimes shares her funny dreams. I shared what my dream was about and she is letting me have a guest post. Thanks Carrie, enjoy.

Axl wants to be my friend.

So there I was hanging out with some friends who somehow were friends with Axl Rose from Guns N' Roses. Axl remembered meeting me one other time and for some strange reason he really wanted to be my friend. He was really amused when I told him the story of how my conservative mother-in-law saw Guns N' Roses open for the Rolling Stones along with Living Color. At the show Axl wore leather pants with the butt cut out (this is the only part of my dream that was true). The Axl in my dream was a much more decently dressed and well-groomed version. He then convinced me to go out to lunch with him to a deli in a seedy part of LA. As he was driving me around in his SUV, he asked me if I would help him revive his music career. I said I would and we ended up at a warehouse with a stage. He then starting performing with a band and for some reason I was sitting high up on the side of the stage. During his performance he climbed above me and jumped off of a ledge expecting me to catch him. I barely did which saved him from falling to his death. At some point we were driving around and Axl took me to a lingerie shop which was attached to a strip club. He seemed to frequent this club and was trying to convince me to go in. I then proceeded to explain why I don't go to strip clubs and he said that he respected me for standing up for what I believe in. The last thing I remember before being woken up by my 4-year-old was walking off into the distance. As a side note, I have never been much of a fan of Guns N' Roses.

Thanks Jeff! Anytime you want to share your crazy again, just let me know...

In my dreams I sing with Bon Jovi and have a million iPods

2010-06-04T12:52:00.000-07:00

Oh antibiotics...how you mess with my brain...In the 3 1/2 hours I slept last night, I did have a rather crazy dream...I do believe I'm obsessed with celebrity...but I digress...

So, first of all, I had 5 iPod shuffles...the ones that are the clip...and they are that electric blue color (much like the one I own). I was at some sort of event, and I handed these out to people to try. Like I was some sort of iPod guru trying to convince them they needed one. So, some people start playing with them, and then they sort of get strewn about and end up under a table in some sort of line, and then there's a dog playing with them. Yes. A dog. And so I crawled under the table to retrieve them and when I got up to look for the last one or two, people just started bringing me iPods of all shapes and sizes. Nanos, classics, old, new, but all either red or white. So I have this armful of iPods and I walk into another building which is sort of like a trailer but huge and then I don't have them anymore.

Then, I'm with a friend - honestly can't remember who now, but I did know her, and she's informing me that I'll be singing such and such a song with Bon Jovi. And this seemed like a surprise to me, but then Jon walked up and he just starts talking to me about how we're going to do it and it seems perfectly normal...how he's going to the sing the first verse and chorus and then I should sing the second and he'll harmonize with me.

Seriously. I couldn't make this stuff up people!

And so then he sits down on these random folding chairs and I wander around this trailer/makeshift green room and find little silicon cupcake molds and think it's odd, but I put them down and close the cabinet. But then I really wanted a cupcake. By the way, we don't practice the song or anything. We just know it's going to happen. So, a few minutes later, I see David Bryan (Bon Jovi's keyboardist) and he just sort of wanders by. No idea where Richie was. But then Jon gets up to go to the stage and says he'll announce me, and so I wait a second, and then my alarm went off. Dang it!!! Now I'll never know how good we sounded together...

In my dreams I'm friends with Angel

2010-05-26T18:38:00.000-07:00

Sleeping in the middle of the day when I'm sick and on antibiotics brought my dreams to a whole new level of crazy today. I fell asleep watching Angel and then dreamed I was friends with the young vampire with a soul, a.k.a. a young David Boreanz. Yes, I realize there's something wrong with me.

So, I'm in this dream, and it starts with me laying across a bed looking at figurines and pictures on an end table. And as I'm looking at these things, I realize how sweet the figurines are - little Santas and Christmasy things, and then lots of photos of, apparently, an even younger Angel. Then Angel sort of scoots up toward where I'm laying and starts looking at the things with me. And then he gets really quiet and it becomes clear that this is some sort of tribute to him made by an old friend who has now apparently died. And it's suddenly very sad. And then this old friend's mom comes in the room and sort of freaks out when she sees Angel and then gets all emotional because it's been so long. She's asking where he's been, and he's apologizing, and I'm just sitting there watching.

The scene suddenly changes, and Angel and I are sitting outside on a curb amidst a giant wind where red dirt is blowing all around, but apparently he's done something with some sort of magical power to make it this way because I ask him why it's winter. He just sits there and then I get all mad because it's clear he's made it winter to avoid going to the funeral of the friend. I then proceed to get up and walk away.

And then I woke up and wondered what in the heck was in these antibiotics I'm taking!

Are you married?

2010-05-19T23:07:00.000-07:00

So, this question was asked of me last night by a sort of random nice guy that I barely know, and it wasn't at all skeevy, but clearly I'm still thinking about it, so I guess it threw me a bit. We were just chatting about random sports-related things and he asked if I was married (I already knew he was). "No," I said in my oh-so-light-and-airy tone. "It's just me."

And then the part that's still frittering its way around my brain...because let's be honest, especially those of you who know me, I'm not really the marrying kind. Or at least I've never really thought of myself as the marrying kind. Like, if it happened, okay, I'm good with that, but if not, well, that's okay too. I've never wanted kids, so that's not an issue for me, and frankly, I'm far too selfish when you really get right down to it to actually be good at being married...whatever that might mean. All I know is, it seems pretty hard when you watch it from the outside, and I applaud those of you making it work. You rock.

But you know, when someone asks you that sort of question, it naturally makes you think. When their response back to you when you tell them you're not married is, "Aww, that's too bad. You'd make some guy a great wife...all your sports interest..." and then just shakes his head? Well, then...you think more than you should. Because then you wonder...if that were actually true, then where exactly is this guy and what exactly is he waiting for?

But is that really true? Is that really all it takes? I gotta think not, but I've always said my best move would be to marry a professional athlete because they're gone half the time and wouldn't bother me, but again, that seems sorta selfish, right? And now they're all too young anyway, so it just wouldn't be right at any level, but that mini conversation, along with my 3 days of strong antibiotics and steroids apparently tripped out my brain enough that I felt I should share it with you.

Welcome, once again, to my own personal crazy...

As a final note, this little event was at least 127 ways better than the last time someone asked me if I was married...while I was filling my car up with gas (headed, ironically, to a wedding celebration event!). I admit it. I lied. I said I was. Because he was ALL kinds of skeevy and the conversation needed to end immediately.

In my dreams, I work with Booth and Bones and near big trucks

2010-04-16T05:34:00.000-07:00

I have no idea how to connect the dots from my dreams last night other than to say that my brain is completely cracked and I took Benadryl before getting in bed.

Part 1

I'm in a hotel with Booth and Bones and Bones is rinsing out whatever crap she's found in the shower. I recall there being a bug of some sort and naturally she's like "whatever" and Booth and I are grossed out. Later, I get 3 phone calls from Booth and he's not exactly sober...in these calls he basically tells me that he loves me and then when I see him later, it's awkward, especially when I discover he's made the same calls to Bones. I'm not exactly clear what happened next as it all becomes a blur. I suppose watching Bones before going to bed MIGHT have had something to do with this part of the dream...

Part 2

Somehow I appear at work sight where there might be logging occurring, but I'm not exactly clear, it just seemed like we were in the woods. And there were a lot of big rigs. I was there with a couple of my current employees and we were apparently trying to meet with several of the workers to collect data but they keep leaving the table for one reason or another. And we just sit there looking at each other and basically saying "figures". Yeah. It was strange. At some point in the dream we may have been riding in one of these big rigs, but I'm not completely clear anymore.

I definitely like Part 1 of the dream better and would be more than happy to continue that tonight...

Where is my bag?

2010-03-31T10:13:00.000-07:00

So I flew to Chicago last night, and amazingly, my plane landed early. AWESOME. I made my way from the gate to Nuts on Clark where I procured an obscene amount of popcorn, then made my way to baggage claim. Upon arrival, along with 327 other people, I stood mesmerized in front of the monitors looking for my flight to determine where I should go stand and wait for my brand new red bag to begin circling. And so I located my flight, and it said it had arrived, but there was no baggage claim posted yet. So I waited. And then I called my mom. And then I waited, and still, nothing was posted. Finally I just decided to go down to the 3-4 Southwest baggage claim areas and just watch for the flight to appear on one of the boards. And it wasn't there. And so I waited. And waited some more. And still, the San Jose flight wasn't showing up. And then the flight number showed up, but it said it was from Ontario, but I went to stand by the carousel anyway.

And then I remembered that I flew out of Oakland...not San Jose...

In my dreams, I'm friends with Green Day

2010-03-26T07:25:00.000-07:00

So, here's what happens when you fall asleep watching the Green Day biography on, well, you know, The Biography Channel...

My friend Marianne was having a party for me, and there were going to be about 30 people, but then the number of folks doubled to 60...I have no idea why. So I'm at this hotel where there's a large pool, waiting for my friend and this party to start. I have no idea what the party is for, just that she wanted to have it for me - thanks Marianne! You rock!!

So, I'm sitting there with some other friends, I think Jill was there but can't remember any others, by the pool, watching lots of, well, let's just say it, very good looking guys, play in the water. I believe America Ferrera (a.k.a. Ugly Betty) was there, and she was also my friend, which was cool. She went swimming I think. And then, out of nowhere, there's Billie Joe Armstrong and the rest of the band, just hanging out, talking to me. And they're so excited to be the surprise guest at this party. So they're only talking to me because apparently I'm the only one that knows they're the surprise guest.

We're just sitting by the pool, hanging out, and then it morphs into them practicing in the bathroom - huge bathroom by the way. And wow, they totally rock! So I watch them practice and then we're back at the pool, and there are other people around, but for some reason, they don't know I'm sitting there with Green Day.

And then Billie Joe high fives me. And then I woke up. And now I just want to go back to sleep and hang with the band some more. Dang it!

In my dreams, I drive crazy and take care of babies

2010-03-19T06:51:00.000-07:00

I have no explanation for any of this...but it's what my brain created overnight...

Dream sequence one: Driving a mini and parking it in the tiniest enclosed garage I've ever seen in my life...backing up far enough to make the back doors of said garage come open, then pulling it up and manually closing those doors. Why? Who knows?

Dream sequence two: Driving an old-school SUV, like a Chevy Blazer or something through a very narrow street which could have been a sidewalk and almost driving it off a cliff; the SUV literally balanced on its nose for a second while I yelled to a guy standing in a store right next to the occurring event and asked for his help. By the time he came out, I'd managed to get all four tires back on the ground, but he got in anyway and then we just drove around.

Dream sequence three: Friends had a baby and for some ridiculous reason they asked me to take care of it while they were away, and not just for an evening, but for days. Another friend was there and he was helping me, and then it was a different couple and a different baby, and then there was a cat.

I think that final segment is what finally woke me up because there's no way in life anyone would ever ask me to take care of their baby for more than an hour. I can't figure out if I need more sleep, or just better sleep, but man, these dreams lately are insane!

Welcome, once again, to my own personal crazy...

In my dreams, I work with Rick Castle

2010-03-18T09:59:00.000-07:00

That's right. Last night, I dreamed I worked with Rick Castle, you know, Nathan Fillion's character on the show Castle? Yeah. That's right. And frankly, despite his overall awesomeness, it was not a pleasant job. I can't be sure, but I don't think I was the Kate character, but I was very detective like. And there was blood. And dead bodies. And we were in some sort of old farmhouse with a huge kitchen. And pretty much the whole dream was wandering through this house finding blood and then something/someone dead. And then at one point, we were at a basketball game and people were serving us food.

OMG, I'm completely cracked!!

But if a job opens up where I'm required to wander around a house with Nathan Fillion all day? I'm totally in.

Trains, Popcorn and a Stolen Laptop

2010-03-02T06:21:00.000-08:00

So apparently, when you're traveling by train through the small towns of Wyoming, you can go through a drive-thru where you can by movie popcorn. Oh yeah. Awesome. At least in my dream it was. But then it got all crazy - because of course, drive-thru movie popcorn is in no way crazy. Because we were on a train, and there were strange random characters roaming about, but then we were in a car. And when we exited the drive-thru, we were on foot. And there were four ways to go but I couldn't figure it out, and my friend who was with me just made her own way and didn't talk to me about it. The four ways to go were based on letters, but I wasn't sure what the letters were for or why we would choose one over the other. But I gotta say, I love the idea that you can buy movie popcorn at a drive-thru.

Apparently at some points on said train trip, you can also lay down on benches and talk to people who will tell you where on the train ride you will be the most lonely. You will also see friends you haven't seen or heard from in years that are suddenly taking the same journey as you.

Prior to being on my own personal crazy train, I was driving through a parking lot at a university - not the one where I currently work mind you, nor one that I've ever worked at, but I was in a huge parking lot where cars were coming and going, and I passed up one space because it was far away from where I was going, but then I never parked the car. The dream just evolved into this whole train thing.

This was all after waking up from a horrible dream where someone stole my laptop from the trunk of my car, but I saw him do it and ran out of the building screaming at him. Mind you, I'd left the trunk of the car open when I went into a building to take someone some mugs, and I was watching, but also distracted by writing notes about the mugs and who they were for. And when I saw the guy walking toward the car, I ran out of the building and down some stairs. And I was screaming so much that I scared him so he gave it back to me. And then I gave him a lecture about how it really wasn't that expensive to just go and buy his own laptop, and he was seriously scared of me and walked with me back to my car where I put the laptop back in and closed the trunk, but then I was afraid he might have a gun and woke myself up. And now my throat hurts.

Lost...and forced to empty dishwasher of knives

2010-01-21T05:25:00.000-08:00

I'm not exactly sure what it says about me that I dreamed about Lost...you know, the TV show...other than I'm possibly a little bit TOO excited about its return in a couple of weeks, but I'm really not sure what it says about me that I was on the island and somehow forced to empty a dishwasher full of knives and random dishes.

Seriously.

This is the dream I just awoke from.

Oh yeah, and also in this dream, there was an animatronic donkey that looked and sounded like Donkey from Shrek, and he was getting hitched to some sort of robotic man that looked and sounded a lot like Lorne from Angel. It was like because Shrek wasn't there, Donkey needed a new friend. To be fair, Lorne is also green, so maybe that's the connection.

Oh My Gosh. My brain is cracked!!

So yeah...I'm hanging out with the Lost people, and we're going back to the island, and no one really wants to, but of course Ben is there and his crazy convincing powers convince us all to go, and as soon as we land, someone shoots at us, but they don't kill anyone because we're expecting it and have placed a decoy jacket on the beach for them to shoot. Then the pilot guy, Frank, is actually killed. And I'm stuck in the corner of the beach trying to unload this dishwasher while this Lorne/Donkey partnership ceremony is being performed, and I almost cut myself with a knife because whatever genius has loaded the dishwasher has put the knives all facing pointy side up.

And oh yeah, Sawyer was there in all his nearly shirtless glory, so at least that was a teensy bit delicious.

Number one, I clearly need to watch less TV and number two, really? I'm lost on the island and have to empty a dishwasher? Really???

Yes. That window's still broken.

2010-01-09T15:42:00.001-08:00

Why is it that when you know something's broken, you will attempt to use it more frequently than you ever used it before it actually broke? All kinds of crazy.

On Christmas Eve, when pulling out of a parking garage in San Francisco, my window made this horrific clicking sound as it neared the top when I was rolling it up. It echoed so badly inside the garage that I thought someone was either shooting at me or had just set off firecrackers. I pulled out when I realized it was actually my window and then tried to make it stop. Note to self: release the button and the noise will actually stop. I figured the problem was that the window wasn't getting to the top and that it was getting stuck on something. I couldn't see what it was, and it was mostly up, so I headed back down the road...with a slight breeze on my head from the tiny crack between the top of the window and the actual top of the door.

When I got home, I manually pushed the window up and hoped that would fix it. I tried rolling the window down and then back up only to be surprised that the noise was still there. Yes. Stupid. I pushed it back up manually and actually didn't deal with it again for several days as I borrowed a friend's larger car while I had Christmas company in town.

When I retrieved my car I sort of hoped that the problem would have magically repaired itself. Look, I already told you I was crazy, so just go with it. Clearly the problem was still there, and I drove it right to the repair shop to see if they could tell me what the real problem was. I demonstrated the noise and they knew right away what I needed. Unfortunately, they couldn't fix it right away so I made an appointment for about six days later.

"Just don't use that window," he said as I was leaving. "That might make it worse."

"Right," I said. "No problem."

Of course, I don't think I need to tell you that I completely forgot that when I decided I needed to run through a drive-through and get a snack. And of course, the second I hit the button to automatically roll the window down was the exact second I remembered that I wasn't supposed to do it. Lucky me, I got to hear that fabulous clicking noise again when I rolled it up. Thankfully, it didn't actually break. The really dumb thing was, that wasn't the last time I did it. Seriously. I needed one of those childproof window switches so I couldn't touch it.

The window's fixed now, but good grief. I was ridiculous. I can't believe how hard it was to remember that yes, the window was still broken.

Why I shouldn't grocery shop...

2009-11-13T19:26:00.000-08:00

I grocery shop like once every 3 months. Literally. I eat out. It's what I do. I make random trips to Target for necessities like Coke, popcorn and toilet paper, but every now and then, I make the journey to the actual grocery store. Today was one of those days. I was a little zealous having not been in a while and having been cooped up in my house for several days with a wicked cold, so it's not a surprise that there was a little crazy involved.

There were so many bags. TONS of bags. And I forgot I had a ream of paper in my trunk along with another empty box I'm supposed to be mailing something in. But, I got everything in. Including the 24-pack of toilet paper and 3 12-packs of Coke - necessities.

When I got home and opened the trunk, I discovered that the bar that comes down when you close the trunk had punctured a bag. The bag with the pound of sugar in it. And oh yeah, the sugar bag was punctured too and spilling into the trunk. Awesome.

I brought the bag gently into the house and set it on the stove with all the other bags as I always do. I set it down too hard. The sugar poured out. POURED. Into a large mound in the center of the stove. No matter what I did, the bag continued to pour sugar out of it. And really, getting that sugar off the stove? Yeah. That was easy. I finally got the bag wrangled and let it dump into a separate container while I attempted to remove the mounds - yes, plural - of sugar from the stove. It was just a treat, and not of the good kind. Then, I unleashed the Roomba to evict all the sugar that inevitably ended up on the floor.

The half empty bag is still sitting on the counter because the first container is now full. I could hunt down another container, but I'm just not in the mood. And really, I didn't even NEED the sugar. I had some that I didn't realize I had.

This is why I eat out. Shopping and dealing with groceries is just far too involved for my life.

Why I dream of bacon...

2009-10-27T19:15:00.000-07:00

Okay, so a friend mentioned a dream to me today and said in passing that she should have it analyzed. So naturally, I turned to the genius of the Internet and decided to analyze my own crazy Vegas dream through the wisdom of the Dream Dictionary...enjoy!

Elevator - so what does it mean when they are just sitting there? Anyone?

To dream that you are ascending in an elevator, suggests that you will quickly rise to status and wealth. You may have risen to a higher level of consciousness and are looking at the world from an elevated viewpoint. Descending in an elevator, suggests that you are being grounded or coming back down to reality. It also signifies setbacks and misfortunes.
The up and down action of the elevator represents the ups and downs of your life. It also symbolizes emotions and thoughts that are emerging out of and submerging into your subconscious. Alternatively, the dream may have sexual connotations.
To dream that the elevator is out of order or that it is not letting you off, symbolizes that your emotions have gotten out of control. It may be a reflection of your life or your career. You are feeling stuck in some aspect of your life, whether it is your career, relationship, etc.

Girls - okay, this seems reasonable, I mean, I AM 15 after all...

To see a girl in your dream, represents your playful, innocent, and childlike nature. Perhaps you are behaving immaturely in some situation. Alternatively, a girl represents the feminine qualities of your character.

Shopping - color me intrigued...

To dream that you are shopping, indicates your needs and desires. It also represents opportunities that you come across in life. Consider what you are shopping for and what needs you are try to fulfill. In particular, to dream that you are shopping for food and groceries, signifies your hidden attempt to buy the attention of others.
To dream that you cannot find what you are shopping for, suggests that you are trying to find a solution to some life problem.

Box - okay, these are starting to freak me out a bit...

To see a box in your dream, signifies your instinctual nature and destructive impulses. Alternatively, you may be trying to preserve and protect some aspect of yourself. The box may also symbolize your limitations and restrictions. Consider the pun of "being boxed in".
To dream that you are opening a box, indicates that you are being revealed something about yourself that were once hidden. It symbolizes self discovery. Consider your feelings as you open the box. If opening the box fills you will fear, you may be uncovering aspects of yourself that cause you to feel anxious.

Baby - so if the baby's riding around in a jeep?

To see a baby in your dream, signifies innocence, warmth and new beginnings. Babies symbolize something in your own inner nature that is pure, vulnerable, helpless and/or uncorrupted. If you find a baby in your dream, then it suggests that you have acknowledged your hidden potential. If you dream that you forgot you had a baby, then it suggests that you are trying hide your own vulnerabilities; You do not want to let others know of your weaknesses.

Bacon - I love the first part...bacon = essential...oh yes...

To see bacon in your dream, symbolizes essentials, staples, and life's supply. It may also be a play on the common phase "bring home the bacon" to refer earning a living.

So, at the end of the day, my conclusion is the same...I'm completely cracked!!

Waking up in Vegas...

2009-10-23T07:15:00.000-07:00

I really can't adequately describe the crazy dream I just woke up from...I'll just share some of the images...

When the dream began, or at least what I remember happening first, I was at Oracle, working on Oracle things, with Oracle people. And there were a lot of elevators.

And then I was outside and getting in a line of 12 or 13 girls, the 13th apparently being important; some were the 13th girl's friends, some were pulled in from various sorority houses nearby. That's right. Sorority houses.

Next, I was in a store that sold lots of little figurine type things, and I was looking for something for my mom, something with a cactus on it. Why? Exactly. I'm not exaggerating when I say there were millions of things in this store. MILLIONS. I asked a clerk for assistance and she took me to another room where she proceeded to move a ginormous stuffed something in order to get to what she wanted to show me: a box with a cactus on it that sort of flipped upside down, and apparently, gave off different scents. I sniffed and only smelled wood. She was insistent that each side held a different scent. I don't think I bought the box.

Right before I woke up, I was driving around in a jeep, and there was a baby in it. And then we were by my church, sort of. I saw our worship director going into the building, that's the only reason I know it was my church.

And then, someone walked toward me with a slab of bacon and showed me a very odd tattoo which led me to get excited. Apparently this tattoo, which to me looked like two thirds of a triangle was supposed to indicate that my hometown was now represented.

I couldn't make this stuff up people!

I guess that's what I get for waking up in Vegas...and man, I seriously need some bacon now!

Twitter-a-holic / Winner

2009-09-04T21:02:00.000-07:00

So, here's how I spent my Friday evening...oh yeah, I'm crazy...but, I'm the winner, so whatev! Thanks @hodgesmusic!! That's David Hodges for the uneducated.

Um, what?

2009-08-20T06:06:00.001-07:00

The dream I just woke up from contained a snake, some sort of mini lochness type snake thing with a giant head and a skunk.

Um, what?

In addition, a former co-worker that I always liked barged into my office with a big 'tude not wanting to help me with anything but wanting my organizational diagrams which I informed her I'd done myself since no one else could possibly do anything.

Seriously, what?

Plus I lived in a total hole...tiny and icky...and said creatures from above were loitering on the back porch which looked like it hadn't been dealt with for about 27 years.

When all else fails, chase it with a Roomba

2009-08-12T19:00:00.001-07:00

I don't get too many 8-legged creatures in my house. Thank you double pane windows. However, recently, there were two such creatures, and they had to be defeated. On both occasions, I was tired. The last thing I wanted to do was deal with this sort of scene.

One, in my bedroom, jumped from the wall to the floor, then scurried under the bed. Neat. After I climbed back down from the ceiling fan blade I had jumped to when he appeared, I tried to find him. I put on shoes, and attempted to step on him. He was too fast. And my shoes were weak and sad. On prior situations such as this, I have plugged in the big vacuum cleaner, attached the hose, and sucked the evil things up. But that was downstairs. And I was upstairs. My first attempt was to get the hand held vac I use for the stairs. No. Again, he was too fast. Then, I decided to try something new and interesting. I went downstairs and got Roomba (much easier to carry up than the big vac). I turned Roomba on, closed all appropriate doors, and let him chase the creature. It was a sight to behold. But Roomba clearly didn't understand that my mission was not to clean, but to kill. I had to keep redirecting it. It was ridiculous at so many levels, but I was not going to be defeated. Finally, the creature went into the hall and Roomba had a direct shot.

Roomba 1, 8-legged creature DEAD

Creature number two appeared in my living room and was clearly after my Chipotle chips. I could tell this from across the room. They're good. Who/What wouldn't want some? I spied the creature approaching and swiftly moved from couch to kitchen where I retrieved Roomba. When I returned, the creature was gone. Nowhere to be found. Clearly, he'd heard of the antics upstairs and wanted no part of Roomba's power.

Roomba 2, 8-legged creature BUH-BYE

In my dreams, I freak Rob Thomas out

2009-07-28T03:55:00.000-07:00

Okay...just woke up from yet another land-of-the-bizarre dream...one in which I apparently play the flute with Rob Thomas. But, at the end of the day, I don't actually play with him...let us begin...

The dream starts, and I'm helping people set up the stage...and it's weird, because it's people from my athletics department, and it's actually some sort of athletic event, but then, it's also like a church. Whatever.

So, the stage is set, and I'm practicing, and Rob is there, and we're all practicing, and it's really crowded.

All of the sudden, he's asking people for sunglasses because apparently whatever I'm playing is causing him to see these crazy bursts of light and it's hurting him or something. Um, what? And he's very nice about it...like he doesn't even understand why it's happening. But it's also apparently not the first time my flute playing has caused this to happen to him.

Then, someone takes my flute...like they're going to see what's up with it. And it so happens that this person is someone I used to work with at SJSU...and then my friends Dave and JJ are there (also musicians), and my friend Jill (not a musician...but a big fan of Rob)...and they start working on music, and suddenly, I'm just standing there, and my flute, and apparently my phone, are now on top of a piano and I'm really not pleased at all. It's almost like I've been banned from being in their little club.

So, I leave...after fetching my flute and phone from the piano...and having someone tell me that soon I'm going to have to give that phone up because they're taking back all the phones, and I try to tell them that it's not a work phone, but they don't seem to care. I take it anyway, and begin to leave.

** Okay, let the record show, that in real life, there is absolutely no way I would leave the vicinity of Rob Thomas. It just wouldn't happen. **

Anyway...I leave, and it's like I'm in the basement of someone's house...but I go out, and realize, my car is in the parking garage, and I turn to go back in, and it's hours later, and I'm back in the place where we were practicing...although now it's more like a big room, not a stage...and all those people are still in there, and they've been playing and singing all night. And now I'm really bitter...because I missed all of this.

So, I sit down at a table in the back room...because apparently now there are two rooms...and I try to find some paper to write Rob a note...something along the lines of I'm sorry, and I hope he's feeling better...but then, I have laundry, and I start to fold it.

And that's when I woke up...because really, dreaming about folding laundry? That's just not okay.

Not only do I live in My Own Personal Crazy...I dream in it as well.

Another one bites the dust

2009-07-23T08:34:00.000-07:00

Turned on the light in the bathroom...started the shower...saw something on the inner wall of the tub...jumped a couple of feet...

Retrieved cup from sink...filled it with water...opened shower door to drown the creature...it had moved...found it...drenched it...

As it made its way to the drain, I discovered that it was, indeed, a moth...

Cue Queen...

In my dreams, I quantum leap...to the land of crazy!

2009-07-11T06:38:00.001-07:00

Okay...figure this one out...

I just awoke from a crazy dream (imagine that)...where I was in some foreign country...maybe somewhere in South America? I honestly don't know. But I drove there. Sure. That makes sense. And I was sitting in a cafe with some random friend who also drove there (in real life, I do not know this person). And we're just sitting there, and Scott Bakula pops up. That's right. Quantum Leap Scott Bakula. And he is all chatty and telling me about his failed marriage and just sits down and we hang out for the rest of the dream. And as I'm about to leave, he's all forlorn and wondering how he can contact me. Really?

But wait. There's more. In this same dream...in the same cafe...there's also Debbie Allen. And Betty White. Apparently the name of this cafe is Cafe du Celebrity.

On the way to this cafe...in this random country...I'm driving down a road and there is a HUGE dog. I mean HUGE. Like, he's Clifford the Big Red dog, except he's sort of a rust color. HUGE.

And before that? I was in a friend's house (a real friend, but this was so NOT his real house). And it was just a mess...so unlike him. And it was apparently his birthday, but I missed it, and there were photos just strewn about...some of which I was in, but in all the ones I was in, I was sort of on the edge...in some sort of shadow. I'm sure this means something deep and dark, but really, I think it all just means I'm insane.

Scott Bakula? Really???

Further proof that I'm completely cracked...

2009-07-04T06:53:00.000-07:00

So, Trident White...the gum...the one in the pack with the pop out pieces of gum...that's what I chew. Flavor? Peppermint. I've tried the other flavors...just not a big fan. I've also lost interest in the version of the gum where you unwrap the pieces. Too much work. Here's where the "I'm completely cracked" part comes in...

So, you can push the gum holder out from either side...6 pieces per side. And yes, there is a proper order in which the gum should be chewed. It shouldn't matter, but for some reason, it does. Basically, my whole thing is, you must finish one side of the pack before starting on the other side. And really, you should push the pieces out in some sort of order...either left to right or top to bottom.

Every now and then, I'll hand someone my pack of gum, rather than just popping out a piece for them myself. And with the exception of my friend Jill, who is just as cracked about this as I am, it never fails that whomever I hand my gum to will pop the gum out of the pack from the wrong side, out of order...totally throwing things off. At that point, I feel like just giving them the whole pack because my brain can't handle the off-balanced-ness of it all.

See? Cracked. Completely cracked.

McDonald's auto drink filler is not yay

2009-06-30T13:34:00.000-07:00

I can no longer go to the drive through at the McDonald's by my office due to the lameness of the automated drink filler - or maybe it's the lameness of the employees working the window. Whichever. Our relationship is over. I can only go in now.

In theory, the auto drink filler should be a good idea. And for people who don't like ice, maybe it is. But for those of us that want extra ice? Oh no. It just doesn't work. Because either the machine has no button for extra ice, or people don't know how to actually pour soda out and manually put extra ice in. Apparently, it's really hard. Because on my last adventure, when I said (to the person, not the machine), "I wanted extra ice in the Coke please." She said, "I can't do that." ...and then muttered something about the machine. Um, yeah...okay. "Could I get an extra cup of ice then please?" Apparently, "the machine" could handle that.

So now, I go in. And get my own ice.

Automated Drink Filler and Drive Through Personnel? You fail.

I wear my sunglasses at work

2009-06-29T07:46:00.000-07:00

Anyone remember that Corey Hart song from the 80s? I wear my sunglasses at night? Always a fave of mine. Today, however, I wear my sunglasses at work because it is seriously so freaking bright in my office. I'm not complaining about the sun, and yes, I could pull the blinds, but that sort of defeats the purpose of having a window, right?

Of course, those of you that know me well know that I really do wear my sunglasses at night...it's how I roll...

In my dreams, I live outside

2009-06-27T07:58:00.000-07:00

I just woke up from a (typical) land-of-the-bizarre dream. In this morning's scenario, my couch and TV, as well as my end table (which I don't actually have), were outside...in some sort of public venue...where there was grass and big tables with chairs. And I was sleeping on my couch, and people moved my TV to watch it while I was snoozing, and when I woke up (in the dream), I moved the couch back to its proper location...next to the mailbox...that's right. The mailbox. But I couldn't figure out how to move the TV or how it got moved in the first place. And then, a parade began to form...which is why there were so many other people around. And then I woke up for real...where I was sleeping on the couch...after falling asleep watching TV.

My brain is cracked!

Moth #2 - Evicted

2009-06-26T06:04:00.000-07:00

That's right. The moth that found its way into my house Wednesday night has been evicted. Dismissed. Destroyed.

Seen this morning on Moth-Twitter: Fear the Carrie. Light elsewhere. She is the destroyer. #avoiddestruction

The moths, they taunt me

2009-06-25T16:32:00.000-07:00

Okay, so, if you haven't done so already, please read my earlier full blog on the moth subject. This saga started in Vegas.

... pausing while you read other post ...

Last night, a moth found its way into my house. Not anywhere near the size of the mothra in Vegas, but dizzying enough to annoy me. At the end of the day, he hid, and I could not find him. I'm sure he's wandering my halls right now laughing. Or, he's possibly using moth-twitter to tell all his little moth friends about me, because one of his cousins just showed up in my office. What??? I have not seen this many moths in one week in years. I'm starting to wonder if they like my shampoo.

Moths, you do not please me. Please, get out.

My purse doesn't listen

2009-06-25T06:26:00.000-07:00

Why is it that when I sling my purse over my arm while getting out of the car it doesn't stay? Why must it always slide down my arm almost causing me to drop whatever is in my hand (usually a drink of some variety - Coke, Iced Tea, etc.)? And why, oh why, doesn't it listen when I tell it to stay? Seriously. This happens almost every day. And no matter how much discussion I have with my purse before getting out of the car, it fails me.

Obstinate purse. You do not please me.