Does my lunch make me crazy?

This is what I ate for lunch today. 

Egg roll.

Tacos.

Funnel cake.

That's right. Funnel cake. How awesome that you no longer have to visit the fair or the creepy carnival to find it. Thank you Jack in the Box. Really. Thank you.

My theory is that anything bad will just slide right out of my system because of all the fried food I eat. Might it also send me to an early grave? Well yeah. It might. But at least I'll have the satisfaction of having enjoyed what I ate.

It's not like I always eat fried food. Okay, mostly it's my food of choice and I'm lucky to have a huge tolerance for it. I did have a salad for dinner last night, so somehow, that balances this out. I'm certain of it. And anyone who says otherwise shall be slapped.

So yeah, this lunch combo was a little bit crazy, but it was also freaking delicious. Sorry for those of you who just had a salad. I'm sure that was, well, I'm sure it was...good? Sure. Let's go with that. Maybe tomorrow you'll make your own trip down the hill and find some deep fried goodness. If not, please feel free to continue living vicariously through my eating expeditions.

Until my next adventure...

Like a (crazy) bridge over troubled water

Stop singing now. This isn't about the song. I promise. Although I do love that song...but that's another story...

For those that know me, you know I have no love for bridges. It's the combination of height and water and knowing that at some point when I'm on one there will be an earthquake and my car will fall from the highness, into the water, and I'll be completely screwed. I do my best to avoid bridges, but sometimes, especially in the Bay Area, it's just not an option.

I work on the East side of the Bay. Driving to and from work is easy. No bridges. San Francisco is on the West side of the Bay. Driving to and from there from home is easy. No bridges. The problem arises when I need to get to San Francisco from work. BRIDGE.

A friend and I were discussing my, okay, let's just say it, phobia, and I'm pleased to announce that I think I can make things a little more crazy next time I cross a bridge - that will be Friday by the way.

My typical m.o. (that's modus operandi or method of operating) when crossing a bridge is this:

1 - unlock all doors.

2 - roll down windows and open sun roof (really a bummer if it's raining).

3 - unbuckle seat belt (yes, I know, there are laws, but I have my own law: when I fall from the bridge, I must be able to get out of the car).

4 - drive as fast as possible without being reckless and just get over the dang thing!!

Last year a friend pointed out to me how funny it would be if I got stopped in the middle of the bridge for speeding, with an add-on ticket of having no seat belt on. Because of course, having to STOP in the middle of the bridge would be a thousand times worse than just getting over it in a safe and seat belted manner. Yeah. Ha ha. Funny.

Tonight, another good friend (and recent recipient of a master's degree in counseling) gave me some new things to think about, and frankly, I am ALL for them!

1 - swim goggles - why hadn't I thought of this before? this would make seeing in the water MUCH easier.

2 - life jacket - OMG! brilliant! I must get one!!

3 - flask of whiskey - because as he said, when people survive things like falling from bridges into water, they're typically drunk; he suggested I get something where the flask would be encased in glass and I'd have to "break for emergency" - yeah, I think my friend's enabling me, but I'm totally okay with it.

Crazy? Probably. 

Entertaining? Indeed. 

Isn't that why you keep reading?

In my dreams, I'm involved with SNL and know Pierce Brosnan

I don't remember a whole lot about this dream I just awoke from, but I had to share nonetheless...

The dream ended with me driving an intoxicated Pierce Brosnan, and someone else that I'm not sure I know, from a party in a park to an old industrial like brick building. I was driving a large SUV that Pierce was sleeping in the front seat of. I remember handing a handful of change to the other person, a woman who may or may not have been Rachel Dratch from Saturday Night Live (SNL). It also may or may not have been Lena Olin. This sort of makes more sense since I saw a movie late yesterday afternoon with Pierce and Lena. But anyway...I drove them away from this park, and it was clearly Pierce's SUV, not mine because he had to tell me where to insert the key. I'm driving and then realize I'm in the wrong lane, but I can't move over because there are hundreds of cars coming. But then the lane cleared and I could have moved over, but didn't. And the light was green a really long time, but still, I didn't move.

When we finally arrived at the building, I got out, and am not sure what happened to Pierce and the woman, but I went inside and found my old friend Serena from high school and her husband Tracy. And apparently they either owned the building, or maybe Serena's parents did, because they were clearly working in the front area and there were pictures of them and their family everywhere. And I mean EVERYWHERE. I hadn't seen them in years (that's true in real life too!) and in the middle of talking to them is when I woke up. 

Before all this, however, I was actually hanging out with Tina Fey and Rachel Dratch and several others from SNL...lots of others actually. And we were in this park doing some sort of sketch or actually just living real life together. It's hard to tell. I remember feeling out of place a lot and wandering from group to group to see if I fit in. It was strange and I'm certain it says something deep and seeded about my life, but whatever. I also remember that while I was driving at some point in the movie there was a Cold Stone Creamery and I wanted it, but we had no time. Really unfair!

So there it is...another notch in my crazy belt. Happy Sunday Everyone!

In my dreams, I date Robert Pattinson and know Rory Gilmore

That's right. Robert "I'm the sparkly vampire Edward" Pattinson. And Rory Gilmore, played by Alexis Bledel, but she was Rory in my dream.

There really wasn't a lot happening in this dream I just woke up from, but the mere fact that Mr. Pattinson was in it seemed blog-worthy.

The dream started in an office building, maybe my new office building, but I'm not completely sure. And I was there helping someone with an IP address problem while my boss - and yes, it was my actual boss - was helping someone else with their IP address problem. FYI, this is not what we do in real life, and I'm not even clear why we were doing it in the dream, but there it was.

I was back in my office and then the scene morphed to another office, and a guy and a girl I knew but don't really know in real life were there, and it was clear there was something going on with them, but they were trying to hide it from someone else in the office. After this other girl left, the girl flipped up a couch cushion and pulled out a movie that she and the guy started to watch, and I was clearly in the way, so I left. I clearly didn't find it weird that there was a couch and a TV in the office. Whatevs.

After that, the dream morphed to a parking lot which is where Robert Pattinson showed up. Apparently we were friends, and he was - and I know this will shock you - brooding about something. I was trying to ascertain why he was upset, but he didn't say anything, just took my hand in his and we started walking. And I was surprised by this action, but just went with it. As we walked it became clear we were together but maybe hadn't made it public yet. I have no idea where we were going, but we just kept walking. We ended up where his car was supposed to be but wasn't, and he was mad that he'd either forgotten where he parked or that someone had possibly stolen his car. That's when Rory showed up.

And she was very Rory and told us she'd take us to the car and seemed annoyed that he was so upset. I tried to calm him down and then it started to rain. So he handed me a hooded sweatshirt - I know you're surprised by that too - and it was a New York Yankees sweatshirt, and I pulled it on, and as we walked, I pulled the hood up. And we looked like two broody people hunkered down in our hoodies. Gee, sound familiar?

I'm not sure what happened to Rory at that point, but Robert and I ended up sitting down somewhere, and maybe it was a couch, but I'm not totally clear. But finally, he smiled, and of course, that's when I woke up.