In my dreams, I'm on a VH1 game show with Matt Nathanson

Those of you that are Matt Nathanson fans, or possibly fans of VH1's Don't Forget the Lyrics, know that he was on there recently and almost won all the monies (check out a clip here). Unfortunately, he did not win, but he was completely entertaining to watch and certainly fun to listen to sing. If you've ever seen him live, you also know that he is hilarious and a teensy bit whacky.

In my dream, I was on a stage, and my friend Jill was with me, and there were a variety of other people there, and, of course, Matt. I have absolutely no idea what this game show was because it's nothing I've ever seen or heard of, but it had something to do with singing along with Matt, or Matt singing and us mimicing him...seriously. It was bizarre. So, there are some people sitting out in folding chairs and some of us up on a stage, and I was standing next to Matt, and he keeps cracking himself up and therefore cracking me up too. Jill was a couple of people down from me, and a kid next to me kept getting talked to by the producer. It's like he wasn't into it enough or something and the producer was trying to get him more excited. Meanwhile, I'm just standing next to Matt cracking up and practically have tears in my eyes because I was laughing so hard. 

At one point, Matt's supposed to sing a part of a song and basically stand in front of each person and sing it; again, no idea what sort of crazy show this is, but that was the deal. So he's sort of walking down this line of people singing this line, and when he hits the person next to me (on the other side, not the one that kept getting talked to) he just cracks up when he watches them sing the line back, and this cracks me up, and we sort of get in trouble because they have to start something over. The next thing I know, he's back standing next to me, and we're watching the playback or something and we both just die laughing and he puts his arm around my shoulder and we are seriously laughing so hard that it hurts. And the producer seems at a loss for what to do because clearly he can't get that upset with Matt since he's like the star of this show or whatever.

So then the guy goes to the piano and is telling all of us, Matt included, that we need to be able to hit certain notes, and then he just plays this completely random series of notes on the piano. They are all over the place from very low to very high and people are trying to sing them and the producer is in pain from listening, and Matt turns to me and he's like, "Oh, I got this," and I say something like, "Of course you do." Then I guess he sings them, though I don't actually remember hearing him sing them, because the next thing I say to him is, "Nailed it!" and I do a little motion with my hands, and then he laughs and says, "Nailed it!" and mimics the motion I did and we crack up laughing again.

So then we're just chatting and this woman comes up and sees that we're getting along, and she seems to be his manager or something, not really sure. And it seems like we're talking about how long I've been following him, and how much I love his music, and he says, "So, did you like that thing we did in November?" and of course I say I loved it and it was great and he seems really excited about that and so does the woman, and I'm not completely sure what he was talking about, but I didn't get to find out anymore because naturally, that's when I woke up.

And now I'm thinking, November? What thing in November? I must know!

So there you have it. A little pre-Christmas crazy from me to you.

In my dreams, I hang out with musicians and hockey players

Well, I haven't had a crazy dream in a while, so it's only fitting that this one included four different scenarios of crazy...

Part One - In which I travel in an SUV with Todd Carey and his band

This part of the dream started in a parking lot, and I had a suitcase or some sort of other bag with me and was clearly going on a trip. And I knew it was with Todd, but didn't know that when I opened the door to the SUV I'd be sitting next to him or that he'd be a complete nut bar. Someone took my bags and put them in the back and seriously, this SUV was PACKED! And so, we head out. And I honestly have no idea why I'm there because I'm not in the band, but I clearly know Todd and we're having fun, and seriously, he's just silly and we're clearly friends, but I don't know anyone else in the SUV. We stop at some sort of eating place and all get out and it seems the place is partially closed, but we wander through and then end up back in the SUV and we're back on the road. Okay sure. That could probably happen.

Part Two - In which I take a job and have to deal with a skeevy bathroom

The dream morphed to me sitting in a tiny office at a new job that I have no idea what is. And I'm trying to figure it out, but no one is very forthcoming, and I'm frustrated. This office is in a huge building, and it's all very dark and dingy, and when I went to the bathroom, it was ultra skeevy, and the stalls didn't have doors, but no one else seemed to care. Thankfully, I didn't stay very long in this part of the dream.

Part Three - In which I hang out with Joe Thornton and he smiles and laughs a lot

So somehow, I'm friends with Joe Thornton - yeah, that could probably happen too - and I can't honestly remember what we were doing in the dream, but he smiled and laughed at me pretty much the whole time. There was a car involved, and maybe I was driving it, but it was clear we hung out all the time and were good friends. Also, he was wearing the suit he was wearing in the booth on Saturday night, with that same amount of scruffy beard. Okay. Sure. Why not.

Part Four - In which I'm on a farm and pull a giant blue dog out of the ground

There were real friends and family in the last part of my dream, but that doesn't make it any less crazy. I was on a farm which may or may not have been my great grandparent's farm, and a couple of friends were there. I'm not clear exactly what was going on, but at one point, I was focused on getting the dogs in line. And these dogs were hibernating or something because they were all underground outside. And so one of them, I just called its name and it dug itself out of the dirt and took its place. But the other one, whose name was Joe by the way, had to be pulled out, and he was the biggest dog I've ever seen. I'm not clear on the breed, but maybe he was a mastiff. I just know that he was blueish in color and was practically sleep walking when I pulled him up from the ground. 

Shortly thereafter I woke up and I shall now be on the lookout for giant blue dogs, Todd Carey's SUV and Joe Thornton. Any bets on who I'll run into first?

Dream on my friends...dream on...

It's things like this that make me hate Halloween...

So. I'm in Texas. Small town Texas. Adjacent to crazy college town Texas. And I seriously hate Halloween right now.

I'm here visiting my grandparents and they live in a more rural area of this small town, which is actually not that far from the main town, but there are some windy roads and lots of trees, and well, it's dark. So, I left their place tonight to head back to my hotel...it's only 5 or 6 miles, and a fairly straight shot after you're done with winding. And I was almost back to the hotel...had pulled off the highway and was sitting at a light waiting to turn left.

That's when they pulled up next to me.

The crazy scary clowns.

Yes. That's right. Clowns.

You'll notice there's no photo in this blog because I hate clowns. HATE THEM. Poltergeist anyone? Yeah. I have zero need for clowns in my life, especially not grownish people dressed up like the crazy scary ones. It would have been one thing if they were just sitting in the car. I could have ignored them. But no. The one in the passenger seat was staring right at me through his crazy scary clown mask, and at first I thought, "yeah, ha ha, you're a scary clown..." And then he opened his door.

And the stupid light was still red, and he starts taking off his seatbelt and starting to get out of the car. Seriously. And in my mind I'm saying, "they're just trying to freak me out...college kids out to mess with the townies..."; and then I'm saying, to my mom whom I'm talking to on the phone at the time, "these clowns are freaking me out and I'm about to run this light."

And so, I pulled into the intersection. I was seriously going to run it. But there was a huge semi coming from the other direction, and I wasn't completely clear who had the green light, so I stopped, but the clowns were still out of their car, and so I turned right across two lanes and went the other direction on the road, hoping beyond hope they wouldn't follow me. I saw them turn left and flipped a u-turn and drove slowly back toward my original destination. I could see them in the car, a light or so ahead of me, and I made sure they were gone and didn't see me turn toward my hotel.

I seriously don't think I've ever been that freaked out. I made my mom stay on the phone with me until I was back in my room, and of course, I'm totally fine, and those idiots will go back to college tomorrow with a story about how they scared some girl out of her mind. They are sooooo invited to bite me. I really can't articulate how deeply I'm engraving those invitations either.

It's stupid. I live in a large city. I've visited and stayed in numerous large cities. Nothing has ever freaked me out this much. I mean, rural Texas, Halloween, scary clowns...it just doesn't add up well...

And so Halloween, I bid you a hasty goodbye. I have no interest in seeing you or your scary clown demon people every again.

All this in just 90 minutes of sleep...

So, I went to bed around 10:15 tonight, and just woke up about 10 minutes ago from this GEM of a dream...

It started, and I was at work, though not in my actual office. In fact, I was in some sort of outside office. Whatever. Anyway, I was outside a classroom that had all glass walls when two gentlemen came up all sneaky like, one with a clipboard he was writing things on. They were looking very closely at the room and then at me, so I asked them if there was something I could help them with. Man one asked if I knew who owned the room, and I told him that I did. He was insistent that I didn't, so I said, "Well, I manage the room." He didn't believe me, and went on and on about how I couldn't possibly manage it, but I kept insisting that I did, and I was not pleased about their presence. There were kids in the room on some sort of exchange program. I'm not sure what they were doing, but these two men were very interested in that as well. When they finally left, I relayed the story to some coworkers, and they just couldn't believe it. 

Moments later, I was in the car with these same coworkers, and the funny part is, it was my old red Neon, but for some reason, I wasn't driving, one of my coworkers/friends was. And we're driving away from campus and see a guy in a gas mask about to spray us with something. My friend swerves and we all duck and it was all very natural, like something we avoided on a regular basis. My friend turns the car toward a sloping driveway with three possible places for us to enter, deciding the one on the right was appropriate and maneuvering the car so it ended up in the path. It was like entering one of those automated car wash places where you have to get your car in the grooves or it won't go through. Only this took us down into some sort of warehouse that was almost like a flea market, which, FYI, I would never go to in real life. 

The car stopped at the bottom, and we all got out. I'm not clear what was going to happen to the car, but this whole adventure seemed like something we did all the time. So we start wandering through this sea of crap, and I mean crap, and trying to find stuff we want/need. I remember seeing piles of carpets and rugs and then roaming into an area where people had disposed of things like exercise balls and things that bounce. I sat down on an exercise ball that was clearly made for kids, because it had an animal face and feet that would suction to the ground when you sat down. And I was THRILLED at this find! I was laughing like a little kid and bouncing on the ball while my coworker/friend mocked me. I got off the ball and followed my friend to another place, and then I had a Coke in my hand. And on top of my Coke was a purple horse. A small one, but a purple horse nonetheless. And I was possibly even MORE thrilled about that because I kept singing about it. "There's a horse on my Coke! There's a horse on my Coke!" And I was laughing hysterically and so was my friend, and then, I took the lid off my Coke and the horse fell in, and I was so sad. I think I even said, "There's a horse in my Coke." And then I realized it was a koala bear, not a horse. And then I woke up.

How can I possibly go back to sleep now???

Oh the dreams I dream...

Over the last two nights I've had some crazy sorts of dreams...really though, just a bunch of dream snippets. I debated blogging Friday night's dreams yesterday but never got around to it, so thought I'd add last night's into the mix. So, here they are...in no order whatsoever...just the brief snippets to prove, once again, that I'm nothing if not crazy.

In snippet one, I'm at a movie theatre, and there are HUGE escalators everywhere. I'm with a friend or two, but they keep changing as I move about this giant theatre. At one point, I get to some popcorn, but there's something hard about actually getting it. We do it, but it's exhausting. At another point, we're in a buffet line, choosing other foods to eat. I'm not sure if we're taking that food into the theatre or what because the dreams morphs after that.

Snippet two finds me in a large group of people all talking about/obsessed with babies. I'm not obsessed with them, but everyone else is. And in fact, there's a huge room filled with babies in cages. Yes. Cages. Like they're animals in a shelter. Now, those of you that know me know that I'm not a fan of babies, but even I realize they shouldn't be kept in cages. But in the dream, it's all perfectly normal. And so, people come to this room to get their babies. And I remember some of the characters from the TV show Parenthood being there, which sort of makes sense because there's a storyline about one of them wanting to have another baby, but I also remember my grandfather being there, so who knows what all of that was about.

Snippet three finds me walking in New York with my friend Mary - who actually lives in New York in real life, so that's not really a stretch. What's weird in the dream though, is that it's like she's never been there. And it appears that we're walking in Brooklyn, and are looking for a specific restaurant. And so we walk, and we keep going through these mini tunnels, and then we go through one and realize we've gone too far...like we've crossed into the dark side of Brooklyn, where a street performer is playing percussion on some old plastic containers. In front of a tennis court that seems run down. We turn back and appear to be in a large open area in the vicinity of the Brooklyn Bridge. Before I know it, the dream finds the two of us sitting at a table having breakfast. With Matt Nathanson. And a waiter is there and he takes an orange out of Matt's drink and squeezes it into mine. And it seems perfectly normal. And then waiter has a camera, which apparently is Matt's, and he starts to take our picture, only I'm totally not paying attention, but I do smile in the end, and it's a good picture of the three of us and Matt assures us that he'll email it to us.

And finally, snippet four finds me going to a concert. That's not really so unbelievable, but weirdly, I had two concerts to attend in one night. At the same venue. One was free, and one I had a ticket to. But even I was confused about it in the dream. So I got to the venue, which I believe was the HP Pavilion in San Jose, and the first concert is really tiny in a room that seats about 50 people. And so I sit down at a table with people I don't know, and someone brings me a salad that I don't really want, and then some sort of sandwich or other food that I also don't want. And I pick at it, and then they come and take it away. The concert is supposed to be Aimee Mann and her sister. I've never listened to her music, nor do I know if she has a sister, but the concert never actually materialized in my dream anyway, so whatever. From there, I am in some sort of transportation device headed to the other concert. This was confusing since I thought it was in the same venue. And in front of me, I see a friend in another vehicle, and he's looking at me and wondering how it is that I'm behind him when he thought I wasn't going to be there or was going to be late or something. I try to tell him that I'll explain later. And then I'm in a van with a bunch of ladies I used to work with, and they're pulling into a parking space by some water, and I try to tell her that she's gone too far, but she doesn't believe me. And when I get out, I'm practically in the water and I finally make her back up. And then the parking lot changes and there are other spaces, and she moves while gates are opened and closed remotely. I also see the Chief of Police from my current workplace trying to get her smart car in under a gate, and she seems rather sneaky about it, but I just look at her and move on. The other concert, who I have no idea who was, never materializes either and then I wake up.

No wonder I never feel rested when I wake up!

In my dreams, I get fired and throw gravel at people

I wholly disapprove of the dream I just woke up from...there really are no words...

Number one - I was fired and went to work at Fresno State on a temporary basis. Thank goodness I actually knew people there or I might have been screwed. But it appeared I was working in some sort of secret job, where maybe I was investigating something. As we toured around campus, which looked suspiciously like a wild animal park, we saw seals and walruses and even a giraffe. Yeah. Okay. Then I sat down at a desk and the gal I was working with asked me to call a restaurant and get some information, so I did. And it was fine, and very bizarre. 

Number two - The person who fired me was still my friend, and we were hanging out at someone's house, but he was better friends with someone else, and it was completely awkward and awful...like I was being pushed out. We were sitting on the couch and this other person was sitting between us, and they were talking quietly so I could hear just enough, but then they'd stop when they realized I could hear them. Apparently in this dream we were actually in junior high...goodness.

Number three - This same former boss/friend and I were then touring the house and lamenting how crowded it was and making suggestions about how we would change it. I remember that the kitchen counter actually had two sets of stove burners, and I suggested they should get a cover for one if they weren't going to remove it, because it was taking up a lot of counter space. Apparently in this dream I was also an interior designer? Whatever. Moments later we were standing at the fridge in this house (still not sure who owned the house) and he got very excited by some ice cream in the freezer, then yelled for some teenage kid who came and indulged in the ice cream too. No idea who owned the kid either.

Number four - I was walking on a gravel path with this same person, and he was talking to someone else about how awkward it was since he'd had to fire me, and I got really mad and picked up a handful of gravel and threw it. At people. People who weren't even involved but just happened to be walking by. I tried to apologize to one of the men it hit, and naturally, he was really angry. I started to apologize to the other man, but my former boss/friend pulled me back and told me to not say any more.

And then I woke up.

Apparently, in my subconscious, I'm afraid I'm going to get fired, have to go work in a zoo in Fresno and will lose my friend and become an angry gravel-thrower. Wow. This is not good information.

In my dreams, I laugh hysterically with Brian Austin Green

There wasn't a whole lot to this dream, but the Brian Austin Green portion stood out enough for me to feel like I should share.

The dream started with some sort of camp scene where I was in a van being driven up a mountain with some other friends, and it was one of those scary vans that may or may not make it across a street, much less up a mountain, but we made it and I was never so happy to be out of the van in my life. There were some kids around, and I'm still not clear if I was working at the camp or attending it. I do remember a discussion about headphones and music, but even that's a little blurry.

At one point in this dream I was walking through a canyon with a couple of kids and a couple of adults...at another point I was walking up to a registration desk of sorts...at another point I was recalling driving up Casper Mountain (in Wyoming). That's where I went to Girl Scout camp in grade school. Yeah. Crazy that I was thinking about it...even crazier that I went...but that's another story...

The dream ended with a bunch of people sitting around in chairs, and as I walked into the chair area - seems like they were outside to start with - a bunch of people started moving around so that I could sit together with the people I walked in with, but I had no interest in that and sat on the end of the row of chairs. That's when Mr. Green (Mr. Austin Green?) showed up. He slid down next to me and we started talking and laughing. Laughing hysterically. I have no idea what we were talking about to start with but then we were on a train, still sitting in the chairs and were mocking the people around us who were suddenly transformed into drunken idiots. Seriously. 

And then I woke up...and now I sorta want to watch this movie: This Time Around.

In my dreams, Todd Carey has blond highlights and I wear a wedding dress

Yeah, so, I had another one of those totally random dreams where the parts were completely disconnected from each other. I do remember that I fell asleep watching The Big Chill so maybe that has something to do with the crazy? It's possible I'm just crazy.

Part I - Todd Carey

So, in the dream, I was visiting Todd at his house...more like an apartment...and actually, I think it was his mom's house/apartment. Not that I have any sort of idea what type of residence Todd or his mom live in...but I digress. Anyway...there were Christmas decorations everywhere, but it wasn't Christmas; not even close to Christmas actually, and I thought it was odd. I sat down in a recliner chair, and Todd's mom was on a couch. And she was very sad, like some tragedy had occurred, but I wasn't sure what. Then Todd came in and his hair had blond highlights - not a good look to be honest. And he was sad too. And I felt bad, but I didn't know what to say. No words were spoken and then the scene morphed.

Part II - Wedding Dress

In this part of the dream, I was in a bedroom, and was wearing an orange dress, but put on a wedding dress over it and was dancing around the room with my dad. I'm not sure if we were practicing for a dance or what, but it was strange, and I didn't seem to be enjoying it. The scene shifted, and I remember there was a cat on the bed, near a box of stuff, and then there was a lot of stuff on the bed...and it seemed like I was supposed to be doing something with it. Then I stepped out, then back, and the stuff was gone with the exception of one box. And in the box was a garter, and I was in the wedding dress again, still over the orange dress. And I just sat down with the box and the garter and wondered what was supposed to happen next.

Seriously. What is wrong with my brain?

In my dreams, I teach science with a slinky

Oh dear. Waking up from a dream in which I was a teacher is bad enough, but the fact that I was teaching some sort of science? So far from reality I can't even tell you.

So in this dream, I remember driving up to a school that was new, but yet, sort of run down. And the woman taking me to my classroom leads me down a flight of stairs, then around a corner, then into an elevator that takes us up one floor and then tells me the next elevator is around the corner, but I just skip it because it seems too weird and walk up the rest of the stairs. Seriously. It was like the Winchester School of Mystery Elevators.

I get to the classroom and it's clearly a room built for science, with lab tables and beakers and such, and so I look around a bit before the kids show up, and then they come. And they're smallish - maybe 4th or 5th grade I'd guess, and I literally have no idea what I'm doing. So I devise an ice breaker wherein I ask them to say their name, what their favorite part of summer was and what they're most looking forward to in school. And it starts off okay, but then more kids come, and soon there aren't enough places to sit, and I'm highly annoyed by it, but the kids keep talking, saying their nams, etc. and soon it all evens out. I single out one boy to work on a solo project and it keeps him occupied throughout the dream. I have no idea what he was doing, but there were all sorts of things in a giant sink and he was completely engaged - I guess that's a good thing, right?

At one point, another teacher shows up - an older man who is clearly experienced and entertained by my level of newness. He pulls out a slinky - yes. A slinky. And puts it next to a tape recorder which also amplifies its sound. And so we all hear the slinky movement as it walks back and forth. But I don't seem to approve and go dig in my locker - oh yes, I had a locker - and find a purple plastic slinky instead. I suppose that would actually be called a spring coil since slinky is really a brand name, but I digress. I bring the man the plastic slinky and amazingly, it makes the sound I was looking for. Yeah. It makes no sense to me either.

For some reason, I leave the classroom and go down the hall where I'm suddenly in a living room of some sort, and it appears to be that of my parents or grandparents, and my grandmother is there looking at pictures and random collectibles sitting on some circa 1974 glass shelves. And she's really sad, but when my mom asks her why, she can't say. And then I'm back in the classroom and suddenly there's no power. And I open the door and realize that there's some sort of fire alarm but we didn't hear it in our room. So I tell everyone to get in line and we proceed to leave the room. But then a few minutes later we're back and kids are just sitting around - in desks, not at the lab tables, which appear to have gone by the wayside - waiting for me to dismiss them, only they're older now, but very patient...like they've been waiting a long time for me to say it's okay to go. So I tell them they can leave, and then, I wake up.

Really? Really???? 

I took science in junior high and high school, and some of it I really enjoyed...Mr. Vasek's Physics class, Mr. Abelson's Chemistry class...but as a general rule, science and I do not mix. And teaching? Oh good grief. That is never something I wanted to do. I admire teachers and have several friends that are teachers. Never would I want to be one. 

So no idea where this dream came from. I recall falling asleep watching A Knight's Tale, so I can't imagine this seeped in from that. If I'd been watching Weird Science, I could totally understand. 

Ah well...there it is...another look at the land of crazy that my brain resides in...

In my dreams, I hang with Green Day and visit Fresno to learn about sharks

Okay...I must be excited about seeing Green Day on Saturday because I just woke up from yet another dream where I was just hanging out with them. (Read about prior dream here.)

Anyway...so, in this dream there was a fairly large group of people hanging outside a huge house - just assuming that it was one of the Green Day boys' estates...but it appeared to be in a mountainous area...lots of land...and we were all in a circle of lawn chairs outside...it was evening and the stars were shining. It was actually quite beautiful. I didn't really know anyone else that was there and was actually sort of sitting toward the back of the event, but then the crowd thinned and there were just a few of us and suddenly, a set of lights went on above that were sort of like fire. And they started to spark, and Billie Joe came up to me and said I might want to move because the wind was shifting and I could get burned by the sparks. So I got up and moved to another part of the yard to sit. That's when I saw the governator (a.k.a. Arnold Schwarzenneger) smoking a huge cigar. He took a big puff and passed it to someone else who passed it to me, and I was rightly disgusted and passed it right back. Gross. 

And then, I was at Fresno State - where I happen to be headed for a day next week. And the folks I'm headed to see were in this dream, but in real life, I'm headed there to talk about software. In my dream, I was there to talk about sharks. No, not San Jose Sharks, real sharks. Because apparently my coworkers/friends at Fresno State study sharks. WHAT?! And they had real sharks there for us to take a look at. Yeah. Awesome.

Apparently that wasn't quite interesting enough though and moments later, I was visiting friends in Chicago who had gotten married the weekend before - they actually got married earlier this summer in reality. And I'm not exactly clear what we were doing, but they decided to check into a hotel to celebrate their one week anniversary, and I was left standing there by myself wondering what had just happened.

And then, thankfully, I woke up. My brain is seriously cracked!!

In my dreams, I win money

In my dream, I won $70,000. That's right. $70,000. I don't understand the amount either, but hey, if it happened in real life, I'd take it. And I'd buy a much cooler car than I've been thinking about buying. In my dream, however, I was having a really hard time figuring out what to buy. In fact, at first, it seemed like I could only buy stuff from the place where I won the money, which was some sort of restaurant - maybe even an Applebee's now that I think about it. So, I started by picking out gift cards of all different values for various things - Southwest and Disney are the two I remember picking. That really seemed to be the best I could do. And then, I was no longer in that restaurant but was roaming about some town with my mom and my grandfather, and maybe even my dad, which is weird since my parents haven't been married for over 25 years, but whatever. And we come upon Morton's and my mom and I both lament how we want to go but it's too expensive. Apparently I forgot I'd just won all that money. But then we just decide to go, and it's in this cool building that's attached to a parking garage - it's all made of very dark brick and looks really slick. And so we start to head in that direction, but then I suddenly remember that I've won the money and have left all the gift cards I picked out back at the other restaurant. And then, as I was thinking about it, I thought about buying a car but didn't know how to go about doing it. And I was just starting to go back up to the clerk at the counter - because somehow I back in the first place - to ask about it when I woke up. And now I kinda want a steak...

In my dreams, well, I'm just crazy

The first time I woke up, it was around 11pm...and here's what I'd just dreamed:

I was in what appeared to be an old hotel...someone mentioned we were in Chicago. I believed them. There were approximately six of us, and we were running from something, escaping actually. I turned back toward a door as the rest went to wait for an elevator. I opened the door, turned on multiple sets of lights, and ran quickly down an aisle behind a series of desks, hoping no one was behind me and wishing I'd locked the door. At the last desk, I picked up three pairs of sunglasses that were apparently all mine. I hung one pair from my shirt, put another on my head and lamented that I had no location for the third as I ran back through the aisle, lights still on, and back out of the room to find the others still waiting for the elevator.

Yep. That's it.

The second time I woke up, it was somewhere in the neighborhood of 12:40am:

I was in a house of some sort, smallish, and kind of like an apartment, and it was rather empty. I don't think it was my house. In fact, I believe I was there taking care of someone's cat. And then I was in a grocery store buying something, maybe for the cat? It's hard to tell because I wasn't there long. And then I was either watching on TV or from a distant sidewalk, scenes from the TV show Friday Night Lights - which I've never watched by the way, but even I know it takes place in Texas. However, in my dream, it was taking place at Clemson. And Kyle Chandler was there, as the head coach of Clemson, but he was talking about moving to Texas. And basically, all I saw was him and some players, and maybe his wife, standing outside the stadium talking about it. And then, I was back in the house. And at some point, a friend of mine came to see me, and when he did, he left the sliding doors open, but there were curtains in front of them, so the cat, apparently, couldn't get out. And maybe there were screen doors too because a few minutes later, I opened the curtains and the doors and let two men in suits in who were looking for Kyle Chandler's character. I let them in and they weren't very nice, and then they just disappeared. And then my friend went to the back bedroom and I told him I'd be back in a minute. And then, there were bugs everywhere. Literally, everywhere. On the floor, on the walls, on the ceiling. All sorts of bugs. Some were flying, some were crawling, and I had no shoes on and I was stepping on them, and I knew they were there because the door had been left open, but I didn't know what to do, so I just turned off the lights and walked down the hall, stepping on bugs as I went, and freaking out the whole way. I got to the bedroom and my friend was sitting in bed, the covers over him - also covered in bugs. I took my sweatshirt off and started waving it around the room, shaking bugs off, freaking out further and then finally, just got in the bed and pulled the covers up.

And then, Praise God! I woke up. And when I did, I started thinking about what it meant to have bugs all over the place in my dream and realized that something is definitely bugging me. But what?

Thinking a little more about this, I'm now remembering another show Kyle Chandler was in that I loved - Early Edition. And oh yeah, there was a cat that played a big role in that show. I haven't thought about that show for years, but I loved it! Could this cat have possibly been that cat? Hmmm...

Somehow, I was able to go back to sleep, and here's the final piece of the dream that I woke up from at 4:41am when my alarm actually went off:

I was at what appeared to be a funeral and there were hundreds of people in the room. And I'm not completely clear, but I might have been Rory Gilmore or I might have just been observing her very closely. Lorelai was definitely there, and when the floor was opened up so people could say something about the deceased - no idea who it was by the way - both she and I told the crowd they couldn't say anything mean, and she was actually pretty mean about it herself, and some of the crowd got restless and even said she was rude. In the end, no one actually said anything and then she and I were in a hall, and I appeared to be in a wedding dress. I told her I'd meet her for dinner in a few minutes, and as we were walking in the hall of a hotel, a door opened and a man pulled me into his room. But then a second later, I was in the hall with a set of keys opening a door. And the room was dark, but I didn't turn on any lights. I heard talking, like from a radio, but couldn't figure out where it was coming from. I sat the keys down by the TV and sat down on the bed, saying "Hi" at the same time and then realizing that's where the man I was looking for was. And oh, it was Logan Huntzberger. And I'm not actually clear, but I think we were married, but maybe it was his funeral we were attending, and maybe he was in hiding for some reason, but he said he missed me, I said I missed him too, and he pulled me into his arms and told me his new name, which, weirdly, was the name of a friend of mine from high school. And as he kissed me, I woke up.

I just really have no words for any of it. No words whatsoever.

In my dreams, I sleep through U2 and Rob Thomas laughs

So, I woke up from another crazy dream this morning, starring me, a friend and U2...Rob Thomas and and another friend also made an appearance. 

So I had a ticket to U2 and it was the second night in a row I was seeing them. My friend bought a ticket from someone on the street...and ended up paying only $71 (yes, $71!!) and it was a front row seat. My seat was high up, and oh yeah, Maroon 5 was opening for them - yes, whack.

So the concert gets going and I fall asleep. Like SOUND asleep and sleep through pretty much the whole concert. Clearly a dream!! But at some point, my friend was in this crazy costume and was part of the show, and it was HILARIOUS! She was in this silvery outfit and was roaming all around with other people in silvery outfits, and then I was awake and sitting on the front row of a different section, with my other friend and, oh yes, Rob Thomas right next to us. 

While we were waiting for our silvery friend, I was talking to her about the other concerts we were going to...Rob Thomas, Green Day, and also mentioned I had two others besides those (that would be Todd Carey and I don't know what else, because that's the only other one in the same time frame - and yes, we really are going to see Rob Thomas and Green Day in real life; and I'm seeing Todd Carey too). Rob Thomas was laughing to our right, but I'm not sure he heard us, and when I tried to say something, it was clear he was on the phone and totally ignoring us, so then we just left. and then my alarm went off.

Completely cracked. Yep. That's me.

Does my lunch make me crazy?

This is what I ate for lunch today. 

Egg roll.

Tacos.

Funnel cake.

That's right. Funnel cake. How awesome that you no longer have to visit the fair or the creepy carnival to find it. Thank you Jack in the Box. Really. Thank you.

My theory is that anything bad will just slide right out of my system because of all the fried food I eat. Might it also send me to an early grave? Well yeah. It might. But at least I'll have the satisfaction of having enjoyed what I ate.

It's not like I always eat fried food. Okay, mostly it's my food of choice and I'm lucky to have a huge tolerance for it. I did have a salad for dinner last night, so somehow, that balances this out. I'm certain of it. And anyone who says otherwise shall be slapped.

So yeah, this lunch combo was a little bit crazy, but it was also freaking delicious. Sorry for those of you who just had a salad. I'm sure that was, well, I'm sure it was...good? Sure. Let's go with that. Maybe tomorrow you'll make your own trip down the hill and find some deep fried goodness. If not, please feel free to continue living vicariously through my eating expeditions.

Until my next adventure...

Like a (crazy) bridge over troubled water

Stop singing now. This isn't about the song. I promise. Although I do love that song...but that's another story...

For those that know me, you know I have no love for bridges. It's the combination of height and water and knowing that at some point when I'm on one there will be an earthquake and my car will fall from the highness, into the water, and I'll be completely screwed. I do my best to avoid bridges, but sometimes, especially in the Bay Area, it's just not an option.

I work on the East side of the Bay. Driving to and from work is easy. No bridges. San Francisco is on the West side of the Bay. Driving to and from there from home is easy. No bridges. The problem arises when I need to get to San Francisco from work. BRIDGE.

A friend and I were discussing my, okay, let's just say it, phobia, and I'm pleased to announce that I think I can make things a little more crazy next time I cross a bridge - that will be Friday by the way.

My typical m.o. (that's modus operandi or method of operating) when crossing a bridge is this:

1 - unlock all doors.

2 - roll down windows and open sun roof (really a bummer if it's raining).

3 - unbuckle seat belt (yes, I know, there are laws, but I have my own law: when I fall from the bridge, I must be able to get out of the car).

4 - drive as fast as possible without being reckless and just get over the dang thing!!

Last year a friend pointed out to me how funny it would be if I got stopped in the middle of the bridge for speeding, with an add-on ticket of having no seat belt on. Because of course, having to STOP in the middle of the bridge would be a thousand times worse than just getting over it in a safe and seat belted manner. Yeah. Ha ha. Funny.

Tonight, another good friend (and recent recipient of a master's degree in counseling) gave me some new things to think about, and frankly, I am ALL for them!

1 - swim goggles - why hadn't I thought of this before? this would make seeing in the water MUCH easier.

2 - life jacket - OMG! brilliant! I must get one!!

3 - flask of whiskey - because as he said, when people survive things like falling from bridges into water, they're typically drunk; he suggested I get something where the flask would be encased in glass and I'd have to "break for emergency" - yeah, I think my friend's enabling me, but I'm totally okay with it.

Crazy? Probably. 

Entertaining? Indeed. 

Isn't that why you keep reading?

In my dreams, I'm involved with SNL and know Pierce Brosnan

I don't remember a whole lot about this dream I just awoke from, but I had to share nonetheless...

The dream ended with me driving an intoxicated Pierce Brosnan, and someone else that I'm not sure I know, from a party in a park to an old industrial like brick building. I was driving a large SUV that Pierce was sleeping in the front seat of. I remember handing a handful of change to the other person, a woman who may or may not have been Rachel Dratch from Saturday Night Live (SNL). It also may or may not have been Lena Olin. This sort of makes more sense since I saw a movie late yesterday afternoon with Pierce and Lena. But anyway...I drove them away from this park, and it was clearly Pierce's SUV, not mine because he had to tell me where to insert the key. I'm driving and then realize I'm in the wrong lane, but I can't move over because there are hundreds of cars coming. But then the lane cleared and I could have moved over, but didn't. And the light was green a really long time, but still, I didn't move.

When we finally arrived at the building, I got out, and am not sure what happened to Pierce and the woman, but I went inside and found my old friend Serena from high school and her husband Tracy. And apparently they either owned the building, or maybe Serena's parents did, because they were clearly working in the front area and there were pictures of them and their family everywhere. And I mean EVERYWHERE. I hadn't seen them in years (that's true in real life too!) and in the middle of talking to them is when I woke up. 

Before all this, however, I was actually hanging out with Tina Fey and Rachel Dratch and several others from SNL...lots of others actually. And we were in this park doing some sort of sketch or actually just living real life together. It's hard to tell. I remember feeling out of place a lot and wandering from group to group to see if I fit in. It was strange and I'm certain it says something deep and seeded about my life, but whatever. I also remember that while I was driving at some point in the movie there was a Cold Stone Creamery and I wanted it, but we had no time. Really unfair!

So there it is...another notch in my crazy belt. Happy Sunday Everyone!

In my dreams, I date Robert Pattinson and know Rory Gilmore

That's right. Robert "I'm the sparkly vampire Edward" Pattinson. And Rory Gilmore, played by Alexis Bledel, but she was Rory in my dream.

There really wasn't a lot happening in this dream I just woke up from, but the mere fact that Mr. Pattinson was in it seemed blog-worthy.

The dream started in an office building, maybe my new office building, but I'm not completely sure. And I was there helping someone with an IP address problem while my boss - and yes, it was my actual boss - was helping someone else with their IP address problem. FYI, this is not what we do in real life, and I'm not even clear why we were doing it in the dream, but there it was.

I was back in my office and then the scene morphed to another office, and a guy and a girl I knew but don't really know in real life were there, and it was clear there was something going on with them, but they were trying to hide it from someone else in the office. After this other girl left, the girl flipped up a couch cushion and pulled out a movie that she and the guy started to watch, and I was clearly in the way, so I left. I clearly didn't find it weird that there was a couch and a TV in the office. Whatevs.

After that, the dream morphed to a parking lot which is where Robert Pattinson showed up. Apparently we were friends, and he was - and I know this will shock you - brooding about something. I was trying to ascertain why he was upset, but he didn't say anything, just took my hand in his and we started walking. And I was surprised by this action, but just went with it. As we walked it became clear we were together but maybe hadn't made it public yet. I have no idea where we were going, but we just kept walking. We ended up where his car was supposed to be but wasn't, and he was mad that he'd either forgotten where he parked or that someone had possibly stolen his car. That's when Rory showed up.

And she was very Rory and told us she'd take us to the car and seemed annoyed that he was so upset. I tried to calm him down and then it started to rain. So he handed me a hooded sweatshirt - I know you're surprised by that too - and it was a New York Yankees sweatshirt, and I pulled it on, and as we walked, I pulled the hood up. And we looked like two broody people hunkered down in our hoodies. Gee, sound familiar?

I'm not sure what happened to Rory at that point, but Robert and I ended up sitting down somewhere, and maybe it was a couch, but I'm not totally clear. But finally, he smiled, and of course, that's when I woke up.

Facebook thinks I'm a tween...

You know how on Facebook they now have these recommended pages or friends or things they think you should do?

• Contact so and so...you haven't been in touch for a while.

• Be this person's friend...12 of your friends are their friend.

• People who like this also like this.

• 12 of your friends like this (and therefore you should like it too).

Yeah. It's fun. Here's what I found today...don't judge...

Hmmm...maybe I AM a tween...