It's things like this that make me hate Halloween...

So. I'm in Texas. Small town Texas. Adjacent to crazy college town Texas. And I seriously hate Halloween right now.

I'm here visiting my grandparents and they live in a more rural area of this small town, which is actually not that far from the main town, but there are some windy roads and lots of trees, and well, it's dark. So, I left their place tonight to head back to my hotel...it's only 5 or 6 miles, and a fairly straight shot after you're done with winding. And I was almost back to the hotel...had pulled off the highway and was sitting at a light waiting to turn left.

That's when they pulled up next to me.

The crazy scary clowns.

Yes. That's right. Clowns.

You'll notice there's no photo in this blog because I hate clowns. HATE THEM. Poltergeist anyone? Yeah. I have zero need for clowns in my life, especially not grownish people dressed up like the crazy scary ones. It would have been one thing if they were just sitting in the car. I could have ignored them. But no. The one in the passenger seat was staring right at me through his crazy scary clown mask, and at first I thought, "yeah, ha ha, you're a scary clown..." And then he opened his door.

And the stupid light was still red, and he starts taking off his seatbelt and starting to get out of the car. Seriously. And in my mind I'm saying, "they're just trying to freak me out...college kids out to mess with the townies..."; and then I'm saying, to my mom whom I'm talking to on the phone at the time, "these clowns are freaking me out and I'm about to run this light."

And so, I pulled into the intersection. I was seriously going to run it. But there was a huge semi coming from the other direction, and I wasn't completely clear who had the green light, so I stopped, but the clowns were still out of their car, and so I turned right across two lanes and went the other direction on the road, hoping beyond hope they wouldn't follow me. I saw them turn left and flipped a u-turn and drove slowly back toward my original destination. I could see them in the car, a light or so ahead of me, and I made sure they were gone and didn't see me turn toward my hotel.

I seriously don't think I've ever been that freaked out. I made my mom stay on the phone with me until I was back in my room, and of course, I'm totally fine, and those idiots will go back to college tomorrow with a story about how they scared some girl out of her mind. They are sooooo invited to bite me. I really can't articulate how deeply I'm engraving those invitations either.

It's stupid. I live in a large city. I've visited and stayed in numerous large cities. Nothing has ever freaked me out this much. I mean, rural Texas, Halloween, scary clowns...it just doesn't add up well...

And so Halloween, I bid you a hasty goodbye. I have no interest in seeing you or your scary clown demon people every again.

All this in just 90 minutes of sleep...

So, I went to bed around 10:15 tonight, and just woke up about 10 minutes ago from this GEM of a dream...

It started, and I was at work, though not in my actual office. In fact, I was in some sort of outside office. Whatever. Anyway, I was outside a classroom that had all glass walls when two gentlemen came up all sneaky like, one with a clipboard he was writing things on. They were looking very closely at the room and then at me, so I asked them if there was something I could help them with. Man one asked if I knew who owned the room, and I told him that I did. He was insistent that I didn't, so I said, "Well, I manage the room." He didn't believe me, and went on and on about how I couldn't possibly manage it, but I kept insisting that I did, and I was not pleased about their presence. There were kids in the room on some sort of exchange program. I'm not sure what they were doing, but these two men were very interested in that as well. When they finally left, I relayed the story to some coworkers, and they just couldn't believe it. 

Moments later, I was in the car with these same coworkers, and the funny part is, it was my old red Neon, but for some reason, I wasn't driving, one of my coworkers/friends was. And we're driving away from campus and see a guy in a gas mask about to spray us with something. My friend swerves and we all duck and it was all very natural, like something we avoided on a regular basis. My friend turns the car toward a sloping driveway with three possible places for us to enter, deciding the one on the right was appropriate and maneuvering the car so it ended up in the path. It was like entering one of those automated car wash places where you have to get your car in the grooves or it won't go through. Only this took us down into some sort of warehouse that was almost like a flea market, which, FYI, I would never go to in real life. 

The car stopped at the bottom, and we all got out. I'm not clear what was going to happen to the car, but this whole adventure seemed like something we did all the time. So we start wandering through this sea of crap, and I mean crap, and trying to find stuff we want/need. I remember seeing piles of carpets and rugs and then roaming into an area where people had disposed of things like exercise balls and things that bounce. I sat down on an exercise ball that was clearly made for kids, because it had an animal face and feet that would suction to the ground when you sat down. And I was THRILLED at this find! I was laughing like a little kid and bouncing on the ball while my coworker/friend mocked me. I got off the ball and followed my friend to another place, and then I had a Coke in my hand. And on top of my Coke was a purple horse. A small one, but a purple horse nonetheless. And I was possibly even MORE thrilled about that because I kept singing about it. "There's a horse on my Coke! There's a horse on my Coke!" And I was laughing hysterically and so was my friend, and then, I took the lid off my Coke and the horse fell in, and I was so sad. I think I even said, "There's a horse in my Coke." And then I realized it was a koala bear, not a horse. And then I woke up.

How can I possibly go back to sleep now???

Oh the dreams I dream...

Over the last two nights I've had some crazy sorts of dreams...really though, just a bunch of dream snippets. I debated blogging Friday night's dreams yesterday but never got around to it, so thought I'd add last night's into the mix. So, here they are...in no order whatsoever...just the brief snippets to prove, once again, that I'm nothing if not crazy.

In snippet one, I'm at a movie theatre, and there are HUGE escalators everywhere. I'm with a friend or two, but they keep changing as I move about this giant theatre. At one point, I get to some popcorn, but there's something hard about actually getting it. We do it, but it's exhausting. At another point, we're in a buffet line, choosing other foods to eat. I'm not sure if we're taking that food into the theatre or what because the dreams morphs after that.

Snippet two finds me in a large group of people all talking about/obsessed with babies. I'm not obsessed with them, but everyone else is. And in fact, there's a huge room filled with babies in cages. Yes. Cages. Like they're animals in a shelter. Now, those of you that know me know that I'm not a fan of babies, but even I realize they shouldn't be kept in cages. But in the dream, it's all perfectly normal. And so, people come to this room to get their babies. And I remember some of the characters from the TV show Parenthood being there, which sort of makes sense because there's a storyline about one of them wanting to have another baby, but I also remember my grandfather being there, so who knows what all of that was about.

Snippet three finds me walking in New York with my friend Mary - who actually lives in New York in real life, so that's not really a stretch. What's weird in the dream though, is that it's like she's never been there. And it appears that we're walking in Brooklyn, and are looking for a specific restaurant. And so we walk, and we keep going through these mini tunnels, and then we go through one and realize we've gone too far...like we've crossed into the dark side of Brooklyn, where a street performer is playing percussion on some old plastic containers. In front of a tennis court that seems run down. We turn back and appear to be in a large open area in the vicinity of the Brooklyn Bridge. Before I know it, the dream finds the two of us sitting at a table having breakfast. With Matt Nathanson. And a waiter is there and he takes an orange out of Matt's drink and squeezes it into mine. And it seems perfectly normal. And then waiter has a camera, which apparently is Matt's, and he starts to take our picture, only I'm totally not paying attention, but I do smile in the end, and it's a good picture of the three of us and Matt assures us that he'll email it to us.

And finally, snippet four finds me going to a concert. That's not really so unbelievable, but weirdly, I had two concerts to attend in one night. At the same venue. One was free, and one I had a ticket to. But even I was confused about it in the dream. So I got to the venue, which I believe was the HP Pavilion in San Jose, and the first concert is really tiny in a room that seats about 50 people. And so I sit down at a table with people I don't know, and someone brings me a salad that I don't really want, and then some sort of sandwich or other food that I also don't want. And I pick at it, and then they come and take it away. The concert is supposed to be Aimee Mann and her sister. I've never listened to her music, nor do I know if she has a sister, but the concert never actually materialized in my dream anyway, so whatever. From there, I am in some sort of transportation device headed to the other concert. This was confusing since I thought it was in the same venue. And in front of me, I see a friend in another vehicle, and he's looking at me and wondering how it is that I'm behind him when he thought I wasn't going to be there or was going to be late or something. I try to tell him that I'll explain later. And then I'm in a van with a bunch of ladies I used to work with, and they're pulling into a parking space by some water, and I try to tell her that she's gone too far, but she doesn't believe me. And when I get out, I'm practically in the water and I finally make her back up. And then the parking lot changes and there are other spaces, and she moves while gates are opened and closed remotely. I also see the Chief of Police from my current workplace trying to get her smart car in under a gate, and she seems rather sneaky about it, but I just look at her and move on. The other concert, who I have no idea who was, never materializes either and then I wake up.

No wonder I never feel rested when I wake up!